


The New Doctor

by Punzel23



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Claire Browne - Freeform, F/M, Melendaire, Melendaire Drama, Neil Melendez - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 27,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24074914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punzel23/pseuds/Punzel23
Summary: A new doctor starts at the hospital and begins to shake things up
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 122
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another shot at creativity... lol. 
> 
> So, up front- I'm a nerd. That being said, the character being introduced is Derek Ross which is sort of a combination of ER's Doug Ross (George Clooney) and Grey's Derek Shepard (Patrick Dempsy) if you wanting to get a visual of him or an idea of his personality lol. 
> 
> We'll see how it goes. As always, your comments mean so much and are very appreciated!

It was the monthly meeting for surgical staff at St. Bonaventure. There was rumor that Allegra Aoki would be there which meant there was an issue or change. 

Neil sees Audrey as he is heading towards the boardroom.  
Any idea what this is about? He asks  
None. Hopefully not something that has caused my job to be on the line. Audrey laughs.  
Is there anything I need to know about before I go in? she asks.  
Neil gives her a confused face as response.  
Had to ask, she said with a shrug.

Dr. Glassman went over numbers and figures for the hospital, the normal information for their meetings. “Now, Allegra has an announcement she’d like to make” he said gesturing towards her as he took a seat. 

Thank you, Aaron. I first want to say you are all doing a great job. We are wanting to get some additional funding for the hospital so we’re planning out a few events and gala’s for this year. Also, I’ve discussed with Dr. Glassman, the board would like to bring in another surgeon. Initially, it is temporary but that could at some point change. This will help Dr. Lim with focusing on Chief duties by allowing there to be another trauma focused surgeon available. 

Neil looked over at Audrey and then towards Andrews to see if they had been aware of this, but they seemed equally thrown off. 

Has a new surgeon been hired or are you looking for one? Audrey asked slightly offended.

Yes, he has accepted our offer letter and will be starting tomorrow, Allegra replied happily. 

You may have heard of him, Dr. Derek Ross. He’s done a lot of work with Doctors without Borders, has published many articles and we feel he will be a valuable asset to the hospital. It will also bring some good press along with it we’re hoping. 

Because if we don’t have press… Dr Andrews mumbled 

It is what helps pay things around here, Glassman responded looking over at him. 

He will be starting tomorrow, which will probably be just some HR stuff and orientation, but he will hit the ground running. Allegra said looking back at Glassman.

Does anyone have something they’d like to add for the good of the group? He asked and waited a moment. Alright, that’s it folks. 

Doctors Lim, Andrews and Melendez walked out and towards Lim’s office.  
So who is this guy? Marcus asked

I’ve seen a few articles from him, he seems very knowledgeable. Audrey replied. 

Glassman came to Audrey’s office door and tapped on the glass. She motioned for him to come in.

Good, you are all in here, Glassman said looking at each of them. I wanted you to know that I wasn’t made aware of this hire until about ten minutes before our meeting. 

So what do you think of this hire? Dr. Andrews asked.

Glassman shrugged, “well, from what I have heard and read, he has talent, knowledge, experience. He does come across as a little arrogant, what some may call a little reckless, but it’s balanced out with charm and empathy. Apparently, patients love him and feel like he’s an excellent listener.”

Andrews started to chuckle as the others looked at him. 

So, what you’re saying is, if Melendez and Browne had a baby, he’d grow up to be this guy? He asked before turning his phone around holding it up with a picture of an attractive Dr. Derek Ross. 

You were all thinking it after Glassman’s description, but you can deny it, Marcus said putting his phone down. Audrey and Glassman tried to hold in their laughs and Neil rolled his eyes replying- “not funny.” 

“We will see how it goes. Once he gets acquainted, we’ll probably want to have some residents assist him as well. I’ll let you work that out amongst yourselves. Let me know if you have any concerns.” he said as he turned to leave.

Guess we’ll see how it goes with Bro-lendez, Andrews said getting up.  
What? Melendez asked  
You see what I did there? Andrews laughed knowing he was working Melendez nerves.  
Since Andrews had stepped down from President and Chief of Surgery he had not been nearly as competitive as his previous self.  
Alright kids, you can go. Audrey rolled her eyes.

Claire didn’t know it, but Melendez often got as much flack for her as she did him. Especially recently. It was not a secret to anyone that there was an attraction between them even if they wanted to deny it.


	2. Fanfaire

The next morning, there’s a buzz around the hospital. The residents are sitting around the conference table in the lounge waiting on assignments. 

Melendez walks in, patient charts in hand. 

“What’s going on today?” Morgan asks

“There was a news truck outside” Shaun chimes in.

“There’s a new trauma surgeon starting today” Melendez replied

“And all this fanfare is for them?” Claire asked confused

Neil shrugged, “apparently it’s what we do” he said rolling his eyes. 

“Is something going on with Dr. Lim?” Morgan asks 

“No, he will just help relieve her and allow her to focus on additional areas” Melendez answered.

“St. Bonaventure welcomes Dr. Derek Ross as trauma surgeon” Park reads as his email pops up on the laptop. 

Morgan looks over at his screen. “Woah. He’s hot” she blurts out

Melendez looks at her raising his eyebrows.

“I just mean, he um, looks like he has strong genetics” 

If you guys are finished, we can get started with our patients, Melendez said the annoyance evident in his voice. 

“We’ve got a patient with a possible heart valve replacement, and then a facial reconstruction surgery with Andrews.” He said looking at the charts. 

“Browne, Murphy- you’re with me. Park, Resnick you’ll be with Andrews” he instructed handing them the files. 

Taking the charts, they walked out of the lounge and Morgan pulls up Dr. Ross on her phone. “Oh my God. He’s….” she says staring. 

“Simmer down, we’ve got a patient to get to” Park tells her.

“What do you think about the new doctor?” Shaun asked Claire

“I don’t know. I haven’t met him” Claire responds

“He looks like your type” Shaun remarks

“My type?” Claire asks

“Tall, handsome, you know” Shaun replies

Claire shakes her head. “Let’s get started” she says knocking on the patient’s door. 

Why people think they knew her type and assumed that she would be willing to date another doctor was beyond her. Quite frankly it frustrated her because she felt it hurt her professional reputation and was ridiculous. If anything, after what happened with Dr. Coyle that nobody would consider it. 

Neil had some patient files he needed to drop off with Lim so decided to walk down to her office. He noticed someone sitting in there and was going to leave when she spotted him.   
Getting up from her desk she walks over and opens the door, “Dr. Melendez.”  
He turns on his heels, “I was just going to drop these off but you’re busy so I can do it later.” He held up a hand.

“I’d like you to meet someone” she told him as she nodded her head for him to come back.   
Reluctantly, he obliged. “Dr. Ross, this is Dr. Melendez our cardiothoracic surgeon attending. He also oversees our residents as well.” She explained. 

Dr. Ross stood to shake his hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you and look forward to working with you” Dr. Ross said with a firm handshake.

Neil wanted to hate him. He wanted to tell him he hadn’t heard much about him but over the past three years he’s changed a lot and refrains, “Thank you, I look forward to working with you as well. I hear you’ve done a lot of work with Doctors without Borders.” 

Yeah, yeah I have. I love it. It’s very intense and yet can be very rewarding at the same time. 

“I’m sure” Neil nodded. 

“Dr. Ross has also asked about our Residents; I’ve given him some file information to look over and let him know that you and Andrews are also great sources if he wants additional information.” Audrey advised.

“Yeah. We’ve got a great set of Residents; they are all very competitive and driven so be prepared” Neil chuckled

Dr. Ross laughed, “Thanks for the heads up. Are there any that have risen above or any that seem to not be meeting their potential?” he asked

Neil thought for a second taking a deep breath. “Their personalities are all very different. There are some very strong traits and they all excel at different things. I don’t think we have any that aren’t meeting their potential but some trying to find where they fit into things. As I’m sure you’ve been made aware, Dr. Murphy is autistic; however, don’t let that label fool you he is absolutely brilliant and can solve things that seem impossible you just have to keep an open mind.” 

“I had heard about him. I’m interested in working with him. I’m hoping once I get my paperwork cleared away, I’ll be able to stop in and meet with all of them.” Ross said

“Sounds good. We’ll look forward to it.” Melendez smiled. “I’ll let you guys finish up” he said turning to leave. 

After checking in on their patients, the residents went back to the lounge to review their notes before meeting with their respective attendings. 

Neil walked into the lounge; “a little later today Dr. Ross would like to meet with everyone just for an introduction, I am just giving you a heads up; it’s not a big deal at all.” He said resting his hands on the back of one of the chairs.

“So you met him?” Park asked perking up

“Yes” Melendez simply replied.

“What did you think?” Morgan asked 

“He seems nice, he has a lot of experience, especially with trauma surgeries. He’s worked with Doctors without Borders, so he has some interesting stories I’m sure.” Melendez replied.

Morgan raises an eyebrow at the Doctors without Borders' comment and looks at Claire. 

Melendez isn’t sure what the look is about but he’s curious, however it’s a subject he’s not going to touch. 

“Browne, Murphy, we’ll meet after lunch to discuss what you’ve got.” He told them as he went into his office.


	3. Meeting the Residents

“Hot humanitarian. Guess I have to work on my bedside manner” Morgan grinned as the other residents looked at her. 

“Oh stop. I’m kidding, You have to admit he is hot though” she said as Park shook his head and laughed. 

“Claire, back me up” she said looking for support.

Claire shook her head. “Not going there” she said going back to her patient file. 

“I think he’s Claire’s type.” Shaun speaks up

Claire looks at Shaun, knowing he can’t help but blurt out his truth at times. 

“He may be Claire’s type, but I think I’d have a chance.” Morgan joked. “I’ll just have to tap into my compassionate side” she explained.

Alex chuckled. “Good luck.” 

“I can do it, just as well as Claire. He is just my inspiration” Morgan laughed

“My money is on Claire” Shaun told her.

“Ok, in case you’ve forgotten we aren’t here to look for dates, so it doesn’t really matter how he looks we are all here with jobs to do.” Claire said agitated.

Melendez could see the residents talking about something and that it was becoming a little heated but he waited to let them work it out for themselves. 

Claire got up to leave and Alex shook his head. 

“You guys did it” he told Shaun and Morgan.

“Oh whatever” Morgan replied as she got to take a break. 

Claire went down to the café to grab a granola bar. She had skipped breakfast and being annoyed wasn’t helping. She looked down at her phone as she walked when she bumped in to someone. 

“I am so sorry!” she said as she looked up. 

“It’s fine, I wasn’t paying attention” the man said brushing it off. 

“I was reading an email on my phone; I should have looked” she said taking blame.

“It’s fine. I’m Derek” he said extending a hand.

“I’m Claire” she smiled. “You’re the new trauma doctor here?” 

“Yes” he nodded “Just started today” 

“I’m one of the surgical residents, so I’m sure I will be seeing you around” 

“Oh. I’ve heard some very good things about you.” he replied

Claire smiled shyly looking down. “I look forward to working with you” he tells her trying not to stare. “I’ll let you get back” he smiles. 

“I’ll see you around” she says as he turns to leave.

He was very easy on the eyes; she couldn’t deny it. She also noticed that he introduced himself as just Derek and not Dr. Ross which was unusual for a hot shot surgeon but refreshing at the same time. There was a natural charm about him that was intriguing. Claire shrugged off the thought and headed back upstairs to work on the patient’s case. 

Derek turned around again as Claire left. She had something special about her. He couldn’t quiet put his finger on it but, it was there. He got a snack and sat down at a table to look over the resident’s files to learn more about them, starting off with Claire’s. 

Right before lunch Lim walked into Melendez’s office.

“Hey” he greeted looking up

“Hey” she smiled coming over towards his desk, her hands folded in front of her. 

“You know, it’s never a good sign when you stand in that position” he said getting up and walking around to lean on his desk. 

“What?” she asks looking down at herself before shaking her head. She attempts to adjust her stand but goes back to the same position.

Neil silently chuckles. 

“What brings you in?” he asks knowing whatever she is about to say probably isn’t good. 

“I wanted to give you a heads up, Dr. Ross is going to offer to order in lunch for the residents so he can sit and talk with them.” 

“Ok, I’ll let them know’ he shrugged. 

“He’s also planning on working with them this week, I’m not sure who but I wanted to let you know” she said.

“Ok” Neil looked at her

“Alright. I’ll see you later” she smiled and turned to leave.

There was something off about their interaction, but Neil didn’t know what it was and wasn’t sure if now was the time to press the point. 

Audrey got into the elevator and let out a breath it felt like she was holding. Dr. Ross is going to ask for Claire she’s sure of it, and there’s going to be an issue- but if she didn’t have to cross that bridge yet, she wasn’t going to. 

Melendez walked into the lounge from his office. “Dr. Lim just advised me that Dr. Ross is bringing in lunch for you guys, so that he can sit and get to know you some. If you already have plans just let them know, I’m sure they’ll understand since it’s last minute but if you can, it’s a good idea to make it” he said. 

The morning ended quickly and before they knew it lunch had arrived. Dr. Lim walked in with Dr. Ross as he carried some food. 

“Hi, I’m Dr. Morgan Resnick” Morgan said sticking out her hand as soon as he sat the box down.   
“Hi, I’m Dr. Ross” Derek replied shaking her hand. 

“Dr. Ross wanted to bring in lunch so that he could sit down and get to know you guys a little bit.” Lim explained.   
“You’ve met Dr. Resnick, this is Dr. Shaun Murphy, Dr. Claire Browne, and Dr. Alex Park.” Lim introduced. Derek smiled and gave a nod as she got to Claire which wasn’t missed by the other residents, or Melendez who could see from his office. 

“I’ll let you guys enjoy” Lim said as she walked over to Neil’s office.   
“Wanna go grab a bite?” she said entering.   
“Sure” he shut his laptop and grabbed his keys. 

“Think they are going on a date?” Shaun asked as he saw them leave together.   
Dr. Ross looked intrigued.   
“Shaun, you’re being silly” Claire shook her head.   
Shaun looked at Dr. Ross, “They used to date. I was just wondering” thinking that maybe his inside information would allow him to get a foot in the door with Dr. Ross. He didn’t want to be known as the autistic doctor, and everyone else seemed to have a trait that could get them in a door, so he was trying to find his. 

“Oh” Derek said surprised.   
“That was a while back. She’s the Chief of Surgery now” Morgan explained  
“Hmm.” He said sitting down.   
“So, tell me about yourselves” He asked   
Not hesitating Morgan spoke up and introduced herself and the others followed suit.   
Derek chuckled how most of them tried to find a way to slightly one up the others, with the exception of Claire who seemed to own who she was. 

“What about you?” Morgan enthusiastically asked as she sat back and folded her hands.

“Well, um, I am from Seattle. I am an only child. I graduated from Dartmouth and have worked in hospitals as well as work with Doctors without Borders.” He explained.

“What brought you here?” Park asked

“I had a friend who knew Allegra, and we had met at a dinner a while back. She had spoke very highly of the hospital and I mentioned that I might be moving to the area. She had said to let her know because there may be something available here so I decided to give it a shot.” He shrugged. 

They finished up lunch with some general small talk. “I’d like to thank you all for having lunch with me. I look forward to getting to work with each of you.” He smiled as he helped clear the table. 

They were finishing clearing the table when Lim and Melendez came back. Melendez walked into his office as Audrey headed into the lounge.

“Good lunch?” Audrey asked looking around. 

“Yes, excellent.” Derek smiled. “Thanks again you guys” he said as he and Dr. Lim left. 

“You weren’t kidding when you said they were competitive” Derek laughed his eyes widening. 

Audrey laughed, “Don’t say we didn’t warn you” she laughed. 

“If possible, tomorrow, I’d like to start working with one of them” he told her.

“Sure, we can work that out, was there anyone, in particular, you’d like to start with first?” she asked thinking it would be Shaun as he was quiet the intriguing mystery. 

“I think I’d like to start with Dr. Browne, from what I read in her file and after meeting them all I think it would be a good first choice.” He replied to her surprise. 

“Ok, I’ll see what I can do.” She nodded as the elevators opened. 

“Thanks. I’ll go finish my orientation information” he nodded as he headed down the hall. 

Audrey walked into her office. “Great” she thought. “It had to be Browne.” Dr. Andrews opened her office door after a quick tap.


	4. Choosing Claire

“You ok?” he asked

“Fine” she said looking up. “What can I do for you?” 

“Just checking in to see how things are going. How’s the new surgeon?” he said taking a seat.

“It’s good, he seems nice” she replied unenthusiastically. 

“Why don’t you seem fine then?” Marcus asked.

“I am fine” she responded, “Is there anything else you need?” 

“Listen, I’m just asking as. Friend. I’m not vying for your job or anything’ Andrews replied squinting his eyes as if it allowed him to see through her façade. 

“Are you worried that Dr. Ross might be?” He asked her.

“No. I don’t think so anyway.” She sat back thinking

“Then what?” Andrews pressed

“It’s nothing.” She shook her head. “He is planning on starting work with one of the resident’s tomorrow” she answered. 

“and that is bad because you’re afraid they will be over-exuberant?” he asked with a chuckle thinking about what it would be like to jump in with these residents after their 3 years of experience. 

“No. Well I hadn’t thought about that.” She made a face placing her hand on her forehead. 

“What then?” he asked

“He asked to work with Dr. Browne first” she finally answered. 

“Ah” Andrews nodded.

“It’s not a big deal. But you know how the other residents are..” she told him

“And it’s got nothing to do with telling Melendez” Marcus asked

“No. Of course not. Why would it?” Audrey denied even though it was in her mind.

“You in denial too?” he asked before adding, “It’ll be fine. Just tell him” he explained.

“Pssht” Audrey rolled her eyes. 

“Good Luck” Andrews said with a chuckle as he left. 

Audrey walked into Neil’s office. Claire and Shaun were running some test on their patient and Morgan and Park were doing research in the lounge. 

“Two visits in one day?” Melendez joking said as she walked in.

“Lucky day” she smiled

“What’s going on?” Melendez asked sitting back in his chair

“Dr. Ross has asked to start working with one of the resident’s tomorrow.” She explained as she walked a little closer and then stood hands folded in front of her. 

“Ok” he replied

“Yeah” she nodded. “So, if you could have Dr. Browne report to him tomorrow morning, that would be great” she said quickly.  
“Wait, what?” he asked standing 

“Please let Dr. Browne know to report to him in the morning” she repeated

“Why Browne?” he asked arms now crossed.

“He asked to start with Dr. Browne” she replied.

“So he just gets to pick which resident he works with?”

“He asked based on their file information and meeting them to start with Dr. Browne. I think it’s a good choice. Do you have a problem with it?” she asked sternly

“I have a problem with a new surgeon coming in and just picking residents without being consulted,” Neil said agitatedly. 

His voice was not yelling but raised which caused Park and Morgan to look up. 

“Would you like me to open the door so everyone can hear?” Audrey asked looking behind her. 

“I’m just saying. We seem to be catering to him an awful lot” Neil remarked

Audrey took a deep breath and crossed her arms. “And would you be saying that if he had asked for Murphy? Or Resnick? What about Park?” she asked looking at him intently.

Claire and Shaun walked into the lounge and Morgan turned her head. “Lim and Melendez are fighting. We can’t tell about what though” 

“Maybe you should go stand by the door and be more obvious,” Park said shaking his head. The curiosity got to him too, but he didn’t want to be as obvious as Morgan. 

“You know what” Audrey replied before Neil could answer. “Don’t answer that. Just think on it.” She said turning to leave. Going in she felt a little bad, but now she was just annoyed. He was going to have to deal with his feelings even though he obviously did everything he could to deny them.


	5. Anxiety

Neil went back to his desk and sat down picking up a pencil fidgeting with it. What the hell did she mean, don’t answer that. He had seniority and that’s what it came down to.

Shaun and Claire came to his door and slowly opened it. 

“We’ve got the test results,” Claire said handing them to him. 

He looked them over, taking longer than normal as he wasn’t paying full attention the first time. 

“We think he needs the valve replacement” Shaun spoke up. 

“Ok, I agree with you. Looks pretty straight forward”. Melendez commented back. 

“We’ll need a consent” he handed the iPad back to them. 

“That might be difficult” Shaun replied

“Why” he asked

“The patient is just nervous and the word artificial make him more skeptical” Claire explained before adding, “but I’ll talk to him again” 

“I can speak with him” Melendez replied. 

“I can do it, I just wanted to confirm with you that he needed it before I pushed the issue” Claire explained nut understanding why he snapped. 

“Ok” Melendez responded. They got up to leave and he asked Claire to stay for a minute so he could talk to her. 

“I wanted to let you know, tomorrow you’ll be reporting to Dr. Ross” 

Claire was confused, “Is this because I didn’t get the consent beforehand?” she asked

“No, it has nothing to do with that. He wants to start working with resident’s tomorrow” Neil explained. She could tell he was annoyed but felt as though it was directed at her. 

“And I was just randomly selected?” she rolled her eyes

“Look, I’m not thrilled about it either, but you’ve got to keep your attitude in check.” He shot back, “random or not he asked for you and I was told I had to send you tomorrow” he finished. Truth be told, he appreciated the attitude, but he couldn’t let her know that. 

“I’m sorry. I’m already getting crap and so I just.” she tried to explain but stopped. “I didn’t mean to come across as rude or pushy” she apologized.

“It’s ok. If anyone gives you trouble, let me know and I’ll talk to them” he told her.

“Thanks” she said turning to leave. They’ll say something she thought, but she’d ignore it and move forward. It worked better than making a bigger deal out of it. 

The next morning, the residents were about to start their rounds when Melendez walked in. “We haven’t started yet. I was waiting on Claire” Shaun advised  
“Good Morning” Melendez greeted sounding slightly irritated.  
“Good Morning” Shaun replied.   
“Dr. Browne will be on Dr. Ross’ service today, so it will just be you today.” Melendez explained.   
“If you need something let me know” Melendez offered. “We’re scheduled for surgery shortly”  
“Can I ask how Dr. Browne was selected?” Morgan asked   
“I just know I was told to have Dr. Browne report” Melendez commented. “Each of you will eventually be working with him, so take it easy” he replied before heading back out. “Trust me Resnick, if I could have sent you I would have” he thought to himself. 

“Claire” Derek greeted as she knocked on the office door and entered.   
“Dr. Ross” she smiled  
“Call me Derek” he said offering her a seat.   
“We will be on the ER today, I figured it’s best to just jump in” he explained  
“Sounds good” Claire agreed. 

He seemed very warm and charming, and she got the feeling when he looked at her, he was flirting but she passed it off as her being silly. He was just a nice person who was new and trying to fit in. The morning passed quickly, and they an appendectomy.  
which he let her lead on. He quizzed her throughout it which she got through with ease.

“Want to grab some lunch?” he asked as they finished up with surgery.   
“Yeah, that sounds good” Claire smiled.   
They went down to the café and got some food. Claire noticed the looks from nurses googling over Dr. Ross. They sat down at a table. 

“It’s been a busy morning” she commented taking the lid off her food.   
“Yeah, it went fast,” he replied. “I have to say, in the short time we’ve worked together I see that all of the things I’ve heard about you are true.” He smiled.  
Claire looked down and smiled shyly. “That’s nice of you to say”   
“You know, you can teach someone technical things, but you can’t teach them kindness or empathy. It makes you different.” He told her

She was about to say something when Dr. Lim walked up to the table. “Dr Ross, Dr. Browne, how’s it going?”

“Great. Dr. Browne is keeping me on point and showing me the ropes” Dr. Ross answered.

“She’s very good” Lim smiled. “Well, if you need anything you know where to find me” she said turning to leave. 

After lunch, she had a little time, so Claire went up to the lounge to find out how the heart surgery went.   
They weren’t in the lounge, so she went to the gallery to observe. She had been standing there for a few seconds when Melendez looked up and saw her. It made him feel good to see here there but mad at the same time she was kicked out of his service. She sat for a minute and observed before leaving. Morgan saw her walking towards the elevator, “Claire” she called out. 

“How’s it going?” 

“It’s good.” Claire replied

“How’s it working with Dr. Ross?” Morgan asked

“Good. Nothing overly exciting has happened” Claire replied not making a big deal out of it. 

Morgan continued to walk with Claire back to Dr. Ross’ temporary office. 

“I just wanted to stop in and see how your first day was going” Morgan smiled.

“Good” Dr. Ross replied. 

There was a brief awkward silence. “Well, if there’s anything I can do, just let me know.” Morgan smiled before she left. 

Claire chuckled as Derek made a face when she left. 

“She grows on you” Claire said with a shrug. 

The afternoon picked up some, Claire was impressed with Dr. Ross’ people skills and how he dealt with the patients young and old that they came across. She found it humorous at how the nurses practically fought over who would assist him and finds herself wondering if it was like this when Melendez first started. 

Finishing up with a patient she noticed Neil standing at the nurse’s station. 

“Hey, how did the surgery go?” she asked

“Good. Everything went well. I saw you checking in” he said with a smile

“Just making sure you were behaving” Claire joked. 

“How’s it going down here?” he asked

“It’s good.. We had an appendectomy, and a patient now that we’re running some test on” she shrugged. 

“I’m heading back up, see you at the track tomorrow?” he asked 

“Definitely” she smiled as he turned to leave. 

Suddenly the anxious, uneasy feeling he had all day was gone. He wasn’t sure why he had it and why she soothed it but it was gone and required no further looking into so he wouldn’t he thought to himself hitting the elevator button as the doors closed.


	6. Insecure

The next morning, she met Neil at the track. 

“Sorry I’m late. Right before I was supposed to leave last night, we had a gunshot wound come into the ER. It was insane and I was there until way late” she explained as she started stretching. 

“No worries. If you’re tired, it’s ok” he offered

“No, no I’m fine. I just slept late” 

“How’d it go with the gunshot victim?” he asked as they started to run

“It just barely missed an artery, but we had to dig around for it and it wasn’t easy to get to. He had already lost a lot of blood when they brought him in. It was gruesome then there were complications” she explained. 

“Damn” he replied

“Derrick handled it well, he had told me about some of the things he did while with Doctors without Borders, so I guess this was a cake walk” she laughed

“Derrick?” Neil asked raising an eyebrow at the first name basis.

“He told me to call him Derrick” she replied pressing her lips tightly together and shrugging. 

“Race you to the curb” she says taking off. 

“Hey!” he laughs 

“You’re getting slow” she says waiting for him at the curb, although it was only a few seconds. 

“You’re a cheater” he playfully bumps his shoulder against her. 

“Learned from you, sensei” she shot back with a classic Melendez wink

“So I created the monster” he chuckled

“Ehh” she laughed as they continued their run. 

Claire went into work and it was relatively slow, with nothing major happening. 

“These are the hardest days” Derek told her. “The ones where you have nothing and but time to wait and think” he said playing with a pen.

“Yeah, and they last forever” she replied

“What’s the longest you’ve had to work straight through?” she asked   
“The longest? 72 hours with a 2-hour break and then back to it for 48hrs” he told her.   
“Oh geez” she said her eyes widening.  
“It was rough but exhilarating,” he said.   
He pulled up some of his old case notes and studies to go over some of the situations with her.   
They ordered some food in for dinner as they discussed them.  
“This is insane! And to have to do without a proper operating room. It’s got to be even more stressful that normal” Claire commented as they went over a case where a man’s limb was almost gone.  
“It is, but you get used to it, or learn to adjust quickly. Plus, these are people who are in need that you get to help which gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment” he replied. 

On his way out that night, Neil walked past and saw them looking at the computer, Claire’s chair beside Dr. Ross viewing something as they ate out of takeout boxes. She looked very intrigued by whatever it was they were looking at. He considered stopping in under the preface of seeing how the week was going but he was already moody and didn’t need for it to make him seem like the jerk. God knows someone would see and report it to Lim. 

After he walked past, he heard Alex going into Dr. Ross’ office, so he stopped and casually looked back. 

“Feeling insecure?” Andrews asked as he came up beside him  
“What? No” Neil replied as his brows furrowed  
“Hmm” Andrews nodded.  
“Why would you even say that?” Neil asked putting his phone in his pocket.   
“You’re the one everyone typically fawns over and now the new guy is here and so it’s natural” Andrews explained  
“That’s ridiculous.” Neil shot back “Have a good night” he said turning to leave.  
“You too” Andrews replied


	7. That Feeling

The next morning Dr. Lim stopped by to ask Dr. Ross how it was going. He explained it was going well, and that he was enjoying it. He complimented Claire and her talents both technical and interpersonal. “It’s a rare thing to find” he told her. 

“I agree. I’m glad things are going well. We have a weekly staff meeting that happens today in about 15 if you’d like to join.” she smiled as she left. 

Neil stopped in the resident’s lounge before heading to his morning meeting thinking he may see Claire. Walking in he hears Park telling about his visit to Dr. Ross’ office before he left last night. He sounded more like he was describing an NFL Quarterback than a surgeon but Neil ignored it and grabbed a medical journal off the table he didn’t need and took it to his office. 

Derek went up to join the meeting, as much as he found meetings ridiculous, he was the new guy and didn’t want to make a bad impression. He listened to the information and nodded along with everyone else. Dr. Lim complimented him on his work the day prior with the gunshot victim. 

“Thank you. Dr. Browne was a huge help in the OR and handled herself well.” He complimented. Neil couldn’t help himself but feel proud of her for many reasons. After the meeting ended, he headed back to the ER and Melendez and Andrews exited as well. 

“Sounds like he’d like to keep Browne” Andrews joked knowing he was pushing buttons.  
Neil rolled his eyes as they kept walking and overheard the nurses talking about how good looking the new doctor was. 

Derek went back down to the ER, and looked for Claire, one of the nurses advised of which ER room she was in.   
She was doing an examination on a patient when he walked in and looked at the chart. 

“Patient is 63, he was on a ladder at home doing some work and fell flat on concrete. I’ve scheduled an MRI and x-rays, it looks like he could have a TBI and some injuries to his chest” she explained. 

“Alright, lets go check it out” he said helping her with the bed so they could get a scan.

They both watched the screen waiting for the image to come up. “Meetings are so much fun, I’m sure you can’t wait until you get do go to them” he laughed trying to make conversation while waiting. “Oh yeah, I’m sure they’re a party” she laughed. “I wonder if next time I could send you in my place” he suggested jokingly. “Um, no” she chuckled as the image on the screen caught her attention. “It looks like he’s got a bleed here..” she said pointing. 

Derek looked closer, “you’re right.” Let’s check on the X-rays and see if we can get an OR booked. 

The x-rays showed internal injuries as well. “He did it good” Derek said looking at them.   
“Ok, so what do we do first?” he asked Claire.  
“First we’ll stop the bleeding in the brain, and then we will work on the chest” she explained.  
“Alright, let’s get to it” he instructed as they headed to the OR to scrub in. 

The surgery winded up taking hours but they successfully go through it. 

“That was a rough one” she said as she washed her hands scrubbing out of the surgery. Closing her eyes as she took a moment to relax.  
“Yeah it was, you did good though.” Derrick replied.  
“I’ll stay and make sure he does well with recovery” he told her  
“I’m fine, I can stay” she told him  
“If you insist. I’m still going to hang around too though. I will go grab us a coffee though if you’d like one” he offered.   
“Yeah, that sounds good” she said finishing up. 

Derrick met her back at his office with a coffee.   
“It’s not too bad” he said taking a sip.

“Yeah, it’s not bad. There’s a place not to far from here called The Butter Stick that has the best lattes and pastries.” She said thinking about the coffee as she took a sip of her own  
“Sounds good, I’ll have to check it out” he replied watching her face as she talked about it and seeing a hint of excitement as she recalled the latte there.

Their patient got out of recovery and into a room. He instructed the nurse to call them if something came up.   
“It’s time to go get some sleep. We’re well over our shift” he said getting his stuff together.  
“Yes. Have a good night” she replied as she left.

The next morning, she was supposed to meet Neil for a run but there was no way she’d make it. She set an alarm for 6 so that she wasn’t waking him up in the middle of the night and would be able to text him early enough to know she wouldn’t make it. 

Neil got up the next morning and made some coffee as he walked out to grab the paper. Getting back inside he heard his phone ding with a text. Picking it up he saw Claire’s text.

Hey, late night last night, won’t make it this morning. Rain check for today?

He poured a cup of coffee and then looked at the text again. 

“No worries, maybe we should put them on hold for a while” he typed before realizing he sounded resentful and childish. He deleted the words. “Sure. Get some rest” he typed and hit send. They were probably up chatting all night he thought to himself thinking of how close they were sitting in Dr. Ross’ office then his conversation with Andrews. It had nothing to do with anyone else giving the new doctor attention, it was just something about Claire. Something he could previously deny more easily and wasn’t sure how to navigate through this change. 

This feeling, whatever it was that he had when she was away, he had to find a way to get past. Then that feeling when he saw her working with Dr. Ross. He was a very intelligent, logical man, and regardless of what his brain knew, there was something else controlling him when it came to this.


	8. Definite Jealousy

It felt like a longer than normal week for Neil. He heard more compliments about Claire and her work finding issues that were below the surface of the issue or out of the ordinary. He was proud but missed having her around at the same time. She cancelled their normal run the day before having worked almost 28 hours. He finished up some charts he was signing off on them so he could get out the door. Grabbing his bag, he headed out the door. He waited at the elevator for the doors to open. 

His mind was preoccupied and when the doors opened, he started to walk in not waiting to see if anyone was coming off causing him to run right into Claire.

“Oh” she said as they collided. 

“I am so sorry” he said realizing what happened as he stood there his arm around her waist as a reflex to help her steady. 

“I’m fine” she said stepping back on the elevator. “I was actually looking for you” she explained. 

“Oh, did you need something?” he asked concerned

“No,” she twisted her mouth nervously.

“I was just coming to say hi and see how it’s been going” she replied

“Good. It has been a long week” he replied with a sigh

“Yeah it was” she looked down

“I missed you” he admitted before realizing her said it out loud.

She looked up and smiled, “I missed you too” 

They could feel the sparks between them, it was something they both had seemed to adjust to not admitting or acting on. The elevators opened and they went their separate ways. 

A little later, after her shift finished up, she ran into Derek as she was leaving. 

“Great job this week.” He complimented

“Thank you and you also” she smiled

“I have to say, I wish I could just keep you” he laughed

Claire laughed, “You should have the opportunity for the full Resnick experience” she joked.

“I can’t wait” he put his hands over his face

“Can I offer to buy you a drink and celebrate the end of a successful first week?” he asked

“I’m beat tonight, but maybe a raincheck?” she asked

“Sure. I’ll see you around next week I’m sure” he smiled.

“Have a good weekend” she said as she headed towards her car.

The weekend seemed to go by quickly, and before she knew it Claire was back at work. 

Walking in she saw Derek in the lobby. 

“Just the doctor I was looking for” he smiled

“Oh?” Claire looked curiously.

“I tried the bakery you told me about and thought I’d bring you a treat from there” he offered handing her a coffee and a pastry. 

“Oh, you shouldn’t have! I’m really glad you did though” she smiled widely. 

Melendez and Lim were walking into the hospital as the exchange happened although they couldn’t tell what the conversation was about exactly. Audrey mentally noted the shift in Neil’s composure seeing the interaction as they walked towards the elevators. Stepping onto the elevator the door almost closed when someone hit the button.

“Sorry” Claire said jumping on. 

It was only three floors, but it felt like days. If there was one thing Audrey hated and tried to avoid it was being on an elevator with Melendez and Claire when there was something weird going on. The awkwardness and tension in the air were thick today. 

“Better hurry, rounds start soon” Melendez said walking past her as he glanced at her coffee and bag in hand. Lim just quietly kept going. 

Claire caught up to him again and held out the bag. “Want some?” she offered

“No thanks” he gave a courteous smile but with a curt tone in voice. 

“Are you mad at me?” she asked confused

“No, why would I be?” Neil replied opening his office door. 

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking”

“We’re good” he said sitting his bag down.

“Ok” she replied not wanting to push the issue. She walked into the resident’s lounge to wait. 

It bothered her more than it probably should have that he seemed mad. Maybe it was because she had missed their run and he expected them to make it up sooner? He seemed to be happy to see her before they he left the hospital at the end of last week. If it were anyone else she could push it aside and move on, but he got to her. 

Right before they got assignments Lim walked into Melendez’s office. 

“I’m thinking I’ll send Resnick and Murphy to work with Ross this week” she said waiting for his response. 

“He doesn’t get to pick this week?” Neil sarcastically asked.

“Well, he could but I have a feeling it would be Browne plus one” she shot back

“Resnick and Murphy is fine” he replied standing to go let them know their assignments. 

“Alright” she turned to leave. 

“Murphy, Resnick, you are with Dr. Ross, Park you’ll be with Andrews and Browne you’re with me.” He said giving them patient files to get started. 

“How come it was just Claire last week with Ross and now it’s two of us?” Morgan asked 

“You’d have to ask Dr. Lim” Melendez replied. “any other questions?” he asked 

They looked at each other, a simultaneous ‘no’. 

“Let’s get started” he instructed them as he headed back to his office. 

“What’s up with him?” Morgan asked once he left the room. 

“You’d think he’d be in a better mood with Claire back” 

“Maybe he’s upset that two of us are assigned to Dr. Ross” Shaun chimed in.

“Or maybe it’s that Dr. Ross seems to have an eye for Dr. Browne” Park leaned over to Claire and said. 

“Oh stop. That is not true” she shook her head. 

“I saw the coffee this morning. He was excited to see you” Park told her

“You’re reading into things and that causes issues so please don’t. I mean, am I to assume you are trying to woo all the nurses you bring donuts too?” she asked annoyed.

“Point taken” Park said getting up.


	9. Persistance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Claire isn't the type to just walk away from a friendship

Neil sat in his office trying to push away his thoughts and feelings about Claire. It had been a few weeks since she had broken up with Dash. It was right after he had told her that she makes him a better surgeon. A better person. He shouldn’t have been so open with her but sometimes he couldn’t help it. They both knew it was something they couldn’t act on which is probably why it didn’t come up again. 

Later that day, they as they are in surgery together, he finds himself looking at her. Wondering what her lips might taste like. What her skin might feel like. He’s had these thoughts before but never this strong where he couldn’t push them out. In the OR they work almost as one, knowing how to read each other without words. 

“Want to close him up?” he asks looking over at her across the table. 

“Sure” she smiles. 

“Good job with this” he tells her as he exits the OR to scrub out. 

A couple hours later she walks into his office and notices he is standing on the balcony looking out. 

“Roger is doing well” she says as he lifts his head but doesn’t turn around. 

“Good, I’m glad to hear. You did a great job finding the tear in there today” he tells her referring to when the patient’s vitals started dropping rapidly. 

“Thanks.” She says standing beside him now.

“You, ok?” she asks concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine” he replies still looking out. 

“You don’t seem fine.”

“It’s nothing. I’m fine. You should get out of here and enjoy your evening” he said finally looking over at her. 

Claire nodded, her feelings a little hurt that he wouldn’t talk to her about whatever it was weighing on him. After all she had dumped her entire life story on him. 

Neil had to find a balance of work and Claire. He stood on the balcony like staring into the abyss and trying to find an answer. His mind was so preoccupied with this it didn’t occur to him that she thought he was mad at her. 

She finished up a couple things before heading downstairs. Walking out she saw Derrick standing out front. 

“Hey” he smiled as she exited the building. 

“Hi” she smiled back “How’s it going with Morgan and Shaun?”   
“Whew. Yeah. This isn’t last week for sure” he laughed.

Neil was walking out of the building when he noticed them talking. He still wasn’t ready to admit that he felt jealousy over seeing them just talk even if it was nothing.

He saw how Derrick looked at her though and it wasn’t purely professional or platonic. He exited via the door on the end to get out as discretely as possible. 

He heard Derrick as Claire if she wanted to grab a bite to eat but someone else walked past him talking and he couldn’t hear her answer. He didn’t want to look back and be noticed so he just headed to his car. It’s probably better if he didn’t hear her answer anyway. 

Neil chastised himself for having these feelings when he shouldn’t and tried to figure out a way to just move past them. The problem was he couldn’t. Being with her created problems, and being without her created problems, the consequences nearly equal for both. As he pulled out of the parking lot, he saw them walking together and once again he felt a sting that was getting harder to ignore. 

He had always scoffed at situations he heard about with an attending and resident. He’d think to himself, weren’t they professionals? Didn’t they know better? What is wrong with people? So how he found himself in this position was a complete mystery. He’s had female friends in the past, he isn’t the type of guy that develops feelings for every woman that smiles at him. He knows how platonic relationships work and has had plenty of them throughout his life. He’s worked with residents before and the thought of a relationship never crossed his mind. 

He was a smart, logical man and he was struggling with how to deal with this and still function at his best. Walking into his house he sat down his bag and changed hoping that a drink and maybe some ESPN would provide a distraction and relief from him over analyzing the situation. 

He tried considering that Claire didn’t feel the same way. Maybe all of this was him mis-reading her kindness. After all when he told her that she made him remember why he got into medicine and that she made him a better surgeon and a better person she just smiled. It’s possible that he made it awkward because she truly viewed them as platonic friends. 

Had he become that guy who should know better but tries it anyway and ruins a friendship?

It made him think of his friend Haleigh. They were the best of friends, and one day she tells him that she had feelings for him but he didn’t feel the same. He saw her as his friend but that was all. She was hurt because she thought things he did were because he had a romantic interest, but he was just being kind as he would to any close friend. She eventually drifted off and they lost contact completely. It was a friendship he missed and one he hated that he lost. Is it possible that he’s Haleigh in this situation? 

Maybe Claire ignored his first admission as a way to keep the friendship and hope it didn’t get awkward. He took another sip of his drink as ESPN played in the background. He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.

He wasn’t sure who would be stopping by and was surprised by who he saw on the other side. 

“Claire” he said confused

“Hi” she smiled uncomfortably and on the inside questioning if this was actually a good idea.   
“I probably should have called first, but…” she paused then shrugged. “I brought you some beer” she tells him holding up a six pack of Modelos, his favorite brand.

A smile creeps across his face. “Well I can’t very well turn you away now” he says taking the beer.   
Claire smiles, “yeah, I figured” she says with a laugh  
“Come inside” he steps back for her to enter.   
Most of the time when they hung out it was at the track, or somewhere in public. She hadn’t been inside his house. It was very modern, which seemed fitting for him. 

“Your place is gorgeous” she said looking around before her eyes met his. 

“Thanks” he replied glancing down. He takes out two beers, handing her one and sticks the others in the fridge.


	10. Confessions and Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyric from 98 degrees.... yeah, i went old school but i think it fits the chapter :). Hope you enjoy!

“I thought you were having dinner with Dr. Ross” He says taking a drink

She looks confused not knowing how he would’ve known.

“I saw you when I was walking out” he chuckles feeling stupid for having said it.

“Oh” she replies, “He asked but I um” she paused moving her bottle around on the counter, “thought a beer with you sounded better” she shrugs before taking a drink.

It literally takes every ounce of control that he has not to walk across the floor to her and kiss her. He wonders if this was how Haleigh felt and feels horrible for how he handled that situation years ago. 

All of these thoughts in his mind have created an awkward silence and he doesn’t realize it until Claire clears her throat.

“I think it sounds better too” he smiles. 

She tilts her head to the side and smiles back with a toothy grin that is pure bliss. 

“So, what’s been going on?” she asks looking over at him

“Nothing” he answers taking another drink

“C’mon. I know you better than that” she replies

“I’m fine” he laughs nervously

She walks over beside him, “you know, you saved me” she says in almost a whisper

“No, that was all you Claire. I was just in the right place at the right time” he tells her looking her in the eyes.

“You did. But part of being a friend means that you’re supposed to be able to tell me things too when something is bothering you instead of trying to shut me out” she said sitting the bottle down on the counter. 

“I’m fine, I was just moody the other day and I’m sorry I snapped” he replied but could tell she wasn’t buying it and that it hurt her that he wasn’t being totally honest.

“hmm” she nodded as suddenly he could feel walls come up around her as if she was regretting opening up to him in the first place. If he worried telling her he had feelings for her would be bad, this was even worse. 

“I was jealous” he admits looking at the bottle he was holding

“Of what?” she asked confused

Neil laughed nervously. “It’s stupid” 

“Ok, I’ve told you a lot of my stupid stuff” she replied wanting to hear what he was talking about.

“Dr. Ross coming in and being able to request the residents he wanted to work with.” He started “the resident being you” he looked down. “You think that you have a level of respect somewhere, but you get accused of favoritism where the new guy can come in and nobody thinks anything of him making request” he said taking a drink before looking her way again.

“I think you have their respect, and Dr. Lim had to investigate anything brought to her. I don’t think it was personal” Claire replied. 

“I know” Neil shrugged. 

“Is it me that you are angry with because I was the root of the complaint?” she asked nervously

“No, not at all. I’m not angry with you” he assures her.

“I told you, it’s stupid” he said finishing off his beer. 

“You know if I got to choose, it would be you. Every time” she tells him before looking away.

He tries to slow his breathing, “If I weren’t your attending…” his voice drifts off.

She walks closer “then what?” she asks

His lips meet hers in response to the question. Her hands on his chest as they move up to wrap around his neck

“Then I’d do that every chance I got” he says leaning his forehead on hers. 

“I’m in love with you” she says her hands on his shoulders

“I love you too” he replies, “but we can’t do anything about it” he says stepping back and turning around to gather his thoughts before facing her again.

“We don’t have to tell anyone” she replies

“People already see it now.” He tells her 

“You’ve worked too hard to get here, and the implications of us with a relationship would overshadow it” 

She nodded as she fidgeted with her hand trying not to cry. 

“What about just tonight?” she asks

He knows what the consequences could be. “Claire” he says

She shakes her head no, “I should go” she tells him as she grabs her bag from the countertop. 

His hand reaches out for her arm and she stops. 

He kisses her passionately. It’s not right, and they can’t do this, but he needs her to understand he wants this as much as she does. 

They make their way to the couch his hands doing all they can not to remove her clothes. Maybe if they stick with just kissing it will be ok. 

Claire feels him press against her through the sweatpants he’s wearing. 

“Mmmm” she moans, “Neil” 

Something about the ways she says his name, makes him feel like he needs to hear her say it again. It’s the same way she says it in his fantasy before he clears his desk to lay her back on it. Or the corner in the radiology room where he’s imagined holding her up against the wall. 

If you're tellin' me you want me  
Hold me close all through the night  
I know, deep inside you need me  
No one else can make it right

He gives in and unbuttons her blouse, planting kisses as he makes his way down it. He runs his fingers over the lacey bra underneath sending shivers through both their bodies. 

“oooh” she moans, and it rumbles through her chest. “I don’t know how much teasing I can take” she tells him, her voice a mix of sexy, seductive and lustful. 

Don't you try to hide the secrets  
I can see it in your eyes  
You said the words without speaking  
And I'm gonna make you mine

Give me just one night, una noche  
A moment to be by your side  
Give me just one night, una noche

He doesn’t know how much he can take either already feeling like he’s going to lose his mind. 

“Claire, I…” he says as he moves back his hands covering his face as he tries to clear the fog in his brain. She sits up and moves so she is straddling his lap. Rocking her hips back and forth over the bulge in his pants. 

I'll give you the time of your life  
The time of your life  
Ohhhh  
Give you the time of your life  
Oh baby yeah

Love and passion make me crazy  
Your existence makes me wild  
Want to loosen up your feelings  
To see what's hiding inside

Give me just one night, una noche  
A moment to be by your side  
Give me just one night, una noche

“Do you want to stop?” she asks as her movement slows. He lifts is neck up off the couch, her breast in his face as he reaches around and unhooks her bra. 

“No I don’t” he tells her as his hands run over her body and her lips meet his in a hungry kiss

He stands up, his hands holding her thighs as her legs wrap around him and he carries her to the bedroom. 

_Give me just one night, una noche  
A moment to be by your side  
Give me just one night, una noche_

_I'll give you the time of your life  
The time of your life  
Ohhhh oh yeah  
Oh baby  
Ay, que rico  
Oh, how…_


	11. Breakfast With Clothes On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is risque, maybe more than risque....lol But fun :)
> 
> Thank you all again for the comments and feedback!!

The next morning Neil woke up to the sound of the alarm. He reached over to hit it but his hand didn’t find the nightstand. He pried his eyes open realizing his head was at the foot of the bed looking over beside him he saw Claire lying on her stomach, her bare back exposed with the sheet covering from her waist. He didn’t want to move, but the sound of the alarm had to be stopped. He moved his legs to the side of the bed, grabbed his boxers and got up to stop the alarm. As he turned around, he saw Claire stirring. Lifting herself up onto her elbows she rubbed her tired eyes before turning to face him. 

“Is it really morning already?” she asked with a smile as she pulled the sheet up on her and turned over on her back. 

Neil watched her, taking in this picture of her on his bed. Messy hair, no clothes, pouty lips.

“What?” she asked feeling slightly nervous

Neil came out of his thoughts, blinking a couple times. “I was just thinking about the things I’d like to do to you” he tells her as he thinks about the night before. Her hands grabbing sheets, back arched, moaning his name, then the next time taking charge with her hands on his chest as she bit her lip and drove him wild on top. 

She was so much more than even his wildest fantasy could have prepared him for. 

“Maybe you should come show me” she teased as she got up on her knees to move closer to him, releasing the sheet that was covering her

He doesn’t need a second invitation as he meets her mouth and they crash down on the bed. Fifteen minutes later his second alarm goes off again. They ignore it and continue their activities until their ecstasy is completed. 

Eventually Neil reaches over and hits the snooze button again. Claire laughs, it’s a good thing it was an alarm and not a fire. Looking over, she suddenly realizes how late it is. 

“Oh God….Work” she says putting her hand over her face. 

“I have go and change” she says with a deep breath right before she jumps up in a rush. 

“You could always borrow a dress shirt; nobody would know under your jacket. You could have more than one black skirt and jacket” he offers trying to help

“Are you suggesting I wear your shirt to work?” she asks with a chuckle. 

“I’m saying it might be convenient, so you don’t have to rush” he replies 

He gets up and goes into the closet coming out with a shirt. 

“Just try it” he offers. 

She tries not to smile but fails. She has her skirt and bra on and takes the shirt. He watches as she slides her arms in and starts to button it. Stepping closer he assists.   
“This feels so wrong” he says as he pushes the buttons through

Claire holds her breath for a second before he leans into her ear.

“I’m supposed to unbutton not button right?” he says kissing her neck.

She closes her eyes in relief. This is going to end, but she’s not ready just yet so she won’t’ be the one to make them step into reality this morning. 

He helps her roll up the sleeves, so they are ¾”. It’s a little big but will make do. She tucks it into her skirt and looks at him for approval. 

“What do you think? She ask

He tilts his head to the side looking at her. “Let’s take it off so I can see the before again and then I can tell you” he replies

Claire laughs closing the gap between them and wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“The goal is not to be late” she says with a quick kiss to avoid starting something they can’t finish. 

“Had to try” he smiles. “Guess I should get ready too” he sighs

“I’m going to go so we’re not showing up together” she smiles.

“People show up at the same time all the time,” he tells her “lets at least have breakfast and I’ll drive the long way to the hospital,” he says hoping she’ll stay

“Ok, but you know breakfast can’t involve us removing clothes right?” she giggles. 

Neil steps out from his closet with slacks on as he buttons his shirt. 

“Is that a challenge? Because I’m pretty sure I can make that happen” he tells her as he walks over to her and slides his hands up her thighs pushing her skirt up.

“Ha..” she manages to say, her mind getting foggy fast.

“So it is” he replies as he gets down to his knees and moves her back towards the wall. Pushing her skirt up further moving his face closer to the lace fabric of her panties.

She takes a sharp breath in. “Mmmm.” She says her hand hitting the wall

“See, it just takes some precision” he teases running his tongue over the fabric.

“Then, if you take special care in moving this over” he explains pushing her panties to the side,   
“you can have access” he explains running his tongue over her as her hips start to instinctively rock against his face. 

“F**k” she says knocking her head against the wall. 

“mmmm” he moans against her flicking his tongue over her wet core

“Neil… oh my god it feels so good” she says her hands in his hair

“mmm” he moans against her before lifting his face, “taste good too” he replies resuming his previous position. 

“F**k, f**k, ahhh” she squeals her lets feeling like jelly beneath her.

Neil moves her panties back over but not without first tracing over her wetness with his finger. He then pulls the skirt back down into position running his palm over it before standing up in front of her. 

“Breakfast, without removing clothes. Told you I could do it” he says smugly as he turns to finish getting ready


	12. Back to Work

Claire walks into the hospital and puts her stuff in her locker. She switches her black jacket out for her lab coat. 

“Aren’t we looking all chic today” Morgan remarks

Claire makes a face

“What’s that mean?” she asks regretting that she did once the words came out.

“I’m just saying, it’s a compliment. Accept it” Morgan replied as she put on her lab coat. 

“Thanks” Claire smiled before walking out.

“Hold up” Morgan tells her.

“Here it comes” Claire things waiting on Morgan

“So, Dr. Ross.” Morgan begins, “I’m having trouble reading him” 

“Trouble reading him?” Claire questions comically

“Yeah, like are you happy with how this is going, or do you have something to say?” Morgan gestured with her hands.

“I’m sure if there’s a problem he’ll tell you” Claire replied. 

“Hmm.” Morgan replied as they kept walking.

Neil enters the hospital, an unusually happy grin on his face. He notices Audrey not far behind, so he waits to hold the door for her. 

“Dr. Melendez” Audrey says walking by  
“Dr. Lim” he nods

“You’re awfully chipper” she remarks 

“I’m sorry. I can be meaner if you prefer” he offers

She squints her eyes looking at him as if it gives her a filter to see through. 

“Why are you being weird?” he asks now a little annoyed

“Why are you so happy?” she replies

He shakes his head knowing he’s not going to win this conversation. 

“I’m going to grab something from the café. I’ll see you around” he tells her as she heads towards her office.

“Dr. Melendez” Andrews says as Neil walks up to the counter looking at breakfast items.

“Andrews” Neil greets as he studies the case. 

“What’s got you in good mood” Andrews asks

“Why do people keep asking me that?” Melendez replies now irritated

He grabs a granola bar and hands it to the cashier. 

Neil walks towards his office and sees the residents in the lounge talking with Dr. Ross. 

He rolls his eyes. Was everyone trying to work his nerves this morning or was it all coincidence. 

One of the nurses stopped him to complain that “one of your residents emptied out the glove supplies and didn’t bother to put a new box in.” 

He apologized and stated he’d speak with them all to make sure that it didn’t happen again. 

He spots Claire sitting in one of the chairs watching Morgan tell a story. 

Dr. Ross is concentrating more on Claire than Morgan’s story from the looks of it. 

Neil doesn’t care today though; he knows she is sitting there is one of his shirts. His. Shirts. And a smile creeps across his face as he walks into his office. 

He sets his stuff down and takes a bite of his granola bar before walking into the lounge. 

“Good Morning” he greets them as it appears, they had just finished a story. 

“Dr. Melendez” Dr. Ross greets him “I brought in some psalteries if you’d like some”

“Thanks, I actually had breakfast already, they look delicious though” he replies 

Claire tries to focus and not react to Neil’s breakfast comment but still smirks. 

“I’ll see you guys in a bit” Dr. Ross says as he leaves.

“Did you have breakfast, or do you now want to eat them because Dr. Ross brought them?” Shaun asks the question that others are wondering.

Melendez looks at Shaun for a minute, brow furrowed, “Yes, I did have breakfast and I don’t have anything against Dr. Ross, I was satisfied with my breakfast and don’t need anything else” he answers.

Claire feels like she is about to lose it. Today of all days, why are they talking about breakfast.

“Listen, this isn’t grade school and there’s no reason to act like because someone is new it’s going to create issues. We’re all grown here. So, finish up and get to work” he says turning to go into his office.


	13. Choices

The residents went down to the ER to do rounds. Claire was working with a patient when she heard Morgan and Shaun having a hard time with a patient a couple bays down. 

“Excuse me for just a moment” she tells the patient after getting them settled in.

She walks down to wear Morgan and Shaun are and peeks her head in the curtain. They are working with a three-year-old who is quite obstinate as they are trying to do a workup. The child is grabbing and yelling. The mother is trying to help but is upset herself, so the nurse escorted her out and Shaun is out of his comfort zone and having trouble assisting. 

“Dr. Murphy, can you go check on the other patient in Bay 4?” Morgan asked trying to get Shaun out of her way without making a bigger deal out of it. 

“Can I assist?” Claire asks and she can tell Morgan is frustrated. 

“I need you to stay still” Morgan says sternly. 

Claire left and went to the nurse’s station appearing a few seconds later.

Morgan looked as though she could explode and had stepped back from the patient’s bed.   
“Hi” Claire greeted the little boy.

“I’m Dr. Browne” she extended her hand to shake his. 

“How are you?”

“It hurts” he whines “I want my mama!” he says yelling.

“You mama will be back in just a minute. We have to look at your arm though real quick” she explains

“NOOOOOOO” he yells loudly. 

Morgan’s eyes widen as she looks at Claire as if to ask her if she can see what she’s dealing with. 

Claire pulls a sucker out of her pocket. 

“What if, I give you this and you let us do an exam?” she asked holding the sucker up.

The child thinks about it. 

“Otay” he answers. 

Claire smiles. “Ok” she says handing him the sucker. 

“What’s your name?” she asks

“Corbin” he replies putting the sucker in his mouth.

“Ok Corbin, we’re gonna listen to your heart and check your arm but you have to stay still ok?” she tells him.

Corbin nods. 

Morgan comes over and shakes her head. “Candy. Why didn’t I think of that?” 

“It looks broken” Claire says looking at his arm. 

“Yeah, I’m going to grab the portable x-ray” Morgan says as she exits.

“Is it good?” Claire asks Corbin watching him enjoy the sucker.

“Mmhmm” he replies  
“What happened? She asks making conversation

“I jumped from the bunk then the drawer fell” he explains.

“Ouch, looks like you got a bump on your head too” Claire replies scrunching her nose and making the boy laugh.

“You’ll be ok” she says holding his other hand.

Morgan grabs the portable x-ray and completes the scan. 

“The bone is completely broken and needs to be set.” She notices a bruise on his lower abdomen that is tender, it could be internal bleeding…looks like he’ll need surgery, I’ll page Ross and get his mom” she says looking at Claire. “Can you wait here for a minute?” she ask

“Sure” Claire nods talking with her new friend. 

Melendez comes down and ask the nurse about patients. Nurse Hayes explains there’s a patient in Bay 2 whose wife asked when the doctor would be back. “I’ll take care of it” he says heading that way.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Melendez” he says looking over the chart. 

“Where is the other doctor? She said she’d be right back” The patients wife asked annoyed.

“She’s probably scheduling some testing. I’ll see what the status is” Melendez replied.   
Coming out of the room he saw Morgan and Ross walking into one of the ER Bays and then heard Claire’s voice. 

“Dr. Browne?” Melendez stuck his head in. 

Claire looks over to see him and he does not look very happy. 

“Hey buddy, I’ve got to go check on something, but you are in great hands” she tells him patting his shoulder. 

Melendez stands outside the curtain and waits as Claire comes out. 

“Sorry” she starts

“You can apologize to the patient and his wife that you’re assigned to. Have you gotten a scan scheduled?” he asked 

“No, I heard Morgan and Shaun having trouble down here and I went to see what it was” she started to explain. 

“It’s fine. Just please get the scan scheduled asap” he says as Morgan and Dr. Ross come out of the room. 

“Thanks for your help Claire” Morgan says

“Looks like we’re going to have go in and check for internal bleeding and cast his arm ” Dr. Ross said looking at Claire and Melendez. “Are you available for surgery?” he asks

“I’m actually working on a patient right now” Claire replies, “I had just come down to see if I could assist because there was a lot of noise”. She replies as she can tell Melendez is annoyed.

“Dr. Browne!” Corbin calls from behind the curtain.

“I think the patient has taken to you some” Dr. Ross chuckles.

“I..” she says nervously as she plans on explaining she has a patient waiting, knowing that as time ticks on Melendez is becoming angrier. 

“It’s fine. I’ll handle the other patient” Neil replies as he walks off. 

“Can you guys prep him for surgery, and I’ll meet you in the OR?” he asks.

“Sure” Morgan says with a smile. Claire stands there feeling unsure of what to do especially with lines being blurred in hers and Melendez’s relationship.

“We really only need one person for this surgery” Morgan remarks after he’s walked away. 

Claire shrugs, “I can go back to my patient.” 

“No, it’s fine. Then it looks like I ran you off” Morgan says as she walks through the curtain.

Claire feels sick. She doesn’t blame Neil for being mad, especially since the patient’s wife was complaining but she isn’t sure how else she was supposed to handle it.


	14. Confrontations

Dr. Ross walks into Melendez office. 

“Hey” he says opening the door

“Hey” Melendez says standing in front of the board with symptoms for the patient.

“I just wanted to clear the air. I know Claire was assigned to you today and I didn’t want it to seem as though I was pulling her from what she was supposed to be doing” 

“That’s funny, because it’s kind of what you did” Melendez replied 

“Resnick and Murphy were dealing with a patient, who is 3 years old- that was kicking and screaming while they tried to do an exam. I’m sure you know that’s not Murphy’s forte and Resnick had trouble handling it on her own. Claire was able to come in and calm him down. She made a connection with the patient and I felt it would be best to have her on board.” He explained.

“This is a teaching hospital, yes, I know those situations make Murphy uncomfortable but it’s something he has to learn to deal with.” Melendez answered. 

“Understood. In the moment though this seemed like the best choice. If you’d like to use Murphy, you’re more than welcome” Dr. Ross offered. 

“Dr. Browne can do the surgery, but then she reports back to me” Melendez replied as he looked at the board. 

“Ok” Dr. Ross replied although he wanted to ask what the big deal was. 

He headed over to the elevator and pushed the down button. 

“Dr. Ross, How’s it going” Dr. Lim asked as they walked on the elevator.  
“Good. Although I think I’ve made Dr. Melendez mad” he says rolling his eyes.  
“What happened?” she asked curiously  
“Doctors Resnick and Murphy had a three-year-old patient who was giving them trouble, and Dr. Browne came down to see if she could assist since Dr. Murphy was having trouble and Resnick couldn’t get him examined on her own. So Melendez was upset that first Claire had left the patient she was dealing with and second I asked if she wanted to be part of the surgery since if it weren’t for her they’d still be trying to calm him down”   
“I see” Dr. Lim replied  
“I get being upset that she didn’t finish with a patient, but he seems to take it more personally than needed” Dr. Ross shrugged.   
“He is very big on patient care” Dr. Lim answered knowing that wasn’t the full truth.  
“Is that all though?” Dr. Ross asked as the elevator doors opened. “Have a good one” he said heading back to the ER. 

Shaun walked through the lounge to Melendez’s office and looked at the symptoms on the board. “It looks like it could be an artery blockage” Shaun said walking to the board then looking at the scan on it. 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking” Melendez replied absently. 

“Shaun, working in a hospital you’re going to deal with all sorts of patients. You have to find a way of dealing with them even when it’s uncomfortable” Melendez said referring to the 3-year-old. 

“I did try. It didn’t work. Claire is much better at that part than me.” Shaun replied.

“Are you mad she is working with Dr. Ross?” he asks

“No. I do think she had a patient that she was attending to and that you should have been able to handle yours.” Melendez replied. 

“Do you need an assist with the surgery?” Shaun asks. 

“You can scrub in. However, if something like this happens again, you won’t be assisting on any other surgeries. Are we clear?” Melendez asked. 

“Crystal” Shaun said with a grin. 

“Go ahead and get the patient prepped” Melendez instructed. 

Claire was on her way to the OR when she saw Neil. “Dr. Melendez” she called out and he looked up from the chart. 

“Hey, I..” she paused not sure what she was going to say 

“Did you need something?” he asked impatiently

“No, I just wanted to apologize for earlier, it won’t happen again” she replied. 

“Ok” he replied as he walked off.

Claire stood there for a minute. That was it? Just an ok? She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. 

Dr Lim saw Melendez walking down the hall. 

“Melendez” she called out

“Hey” he said turning

“What’s going on?” she asks as they walk

“I’m about to go into surgery” he responds. 

“I hear that Dr. Browne is going into surgery with Doctors Ross and Resnick” Lim said 

“You heard correctly,” he said not reacting. 

“Are you taking it personally?” she asks stopping. 

“What?” he looks at her with a mix of anger and confusion

“It sounds to me like Claire didn’t have much of a choice in stepping in. Don’t take it personally” Audrey said trying not to judge.

“I’m not taking anything personally. She was supposed to be handling a patient, and rather than working through the situation with Murphy, Dr. Ross decides it’s ok to just let Dr. Browne step in. This is a teaching hospital. You can’t just pull Murphy because he’s uncomfortable” Neil replies annoyed.

“And you’d feel the same way if it were any other resident that it happened with?” she questions

“Yes. I would.” He answers firmly. “Never mind the surgery would be fine with Dr. Ross and Resnick alone he just wanted to pull Browne in.” he tells her.

“Listen, I get it. But he’s also new and learning his way around” she tells him referring to Dr. Ross. 

“So, it’s fine” Melendez shrugs and walks away. 

She knew he was annoyed; she just didn’t know how much had to do with the situation and how much had to do with it involving Claire. 

Neil was irritated at the questions today, at Claire being pulled away for a surgery that didn’t require her. The events from the previous night were weighing on him. He shouldn’t have given in to his wants, but he couldn’t let her just walk away either. The problem is that it opens a whole new world of issues that he wasn’t sure how to address.


	15. Chapter 15

Claire’s surgery lasted a little longer than expected. It was successful, and they were able to find the internal bleed and stop it. 

“Thanks for your help today” Derek says as they scrub out. 

“You’re welcome” Claire smiles as Morgan comes in to scrub out as well. 

Derek looks at Claire and ask if she’d like to come with him to update the mother. 

“I can come” Morgan offers. 

“The mom seemed a little frustrated because of how things started off. I think it may be better if Dr. Browne does.” He explained.   
“Ok” Morgan rolled her eyes.   
“Actually, maybe it would help the mother relate it all to a more positive experience if Morgan goes.”   
Derek looked at her not wanting to admit she could be right.   
“If you think so, we’ll give it a try” he lamented.   
Morgan turned around and smiled.   
“Let’s go” he said heading out the door. 

As Claire headed down the hall Melendez exited his OR also. 

“How’d surgery go?” she asked

“Good. We had to clean some arteries; we aren’t finished yet. Looks like we might have to do a bypass.” He replies.

Claire nods.

He is being cold, and he feels bad, because truthfully, he is more annoyed that she was on Ross’ surgery than the fact she went to see what was going on this morning in the ER. There’s a piece of him that wants to ask her to scrub in on the bypass, but he knows it’s only because he wants her company. If it were any other resident, he wouldn’t entertain the idea. So, as much as in pains him he can’t. 

“I’m just stepping out to give the family update. I better get to them” he tells her

“I really am sorry. It won’t happen again” she says blaming herself. 

He steps back towards her. “You were in a tough position and you made a call. Sometimes that’s just the way it is.” He says as she fidgets with her hands and he feels the need to relieve her anxiety over the situation. 

"Not that I don't miss you in there with me" he smiles as he turns to go. 

He shouldn’t have done it, but once again it’s like it is beyond his control. She’s like a drug, it’s like she puts him under a spell when they’re close and he literally has no other option than to give in. 

Claire walks out seeing Morgan and Derek. 

“How’d it go” she asks

“Very well, that was a great suggestion to let Morgan update the mother.” Derrick complimented. “Thanks for everything today.”

Morgan felt slightly ousted and a little jealous. “We should probably go check on the patient in recovery,” she said as she tried to move the conversation along. For the life of her she can’t figure out why everyone is smitten with Claire. 

They finish up with the patient, and Claire and Morgan go into the locker room to change.   
Claire puts on the dress shirt again, smiling as she buttons it.  
“So what’s the secret?” Morgan asks coming over and leaning on the lockers.  
“Secret?” Claire responds not knowing where Morgan is going with this.   
“To your allure of these doctors,” Morgan says bluntly  
“What are you talking about” Claire ask  
“Seriously? Dr. Ross is obviously dying to get in your pants” Morgan replies  
“OK, no. Seriously why does everything have to be about that with you?” Claire asks her  
“I’m just stating the truth” Morgan answers  
“He’s new here. He’s just trying to make friends. Maybe try being nice to him” Claire says shutting her locker.   
“I am nice” Morgan rolls her eyes.   
“Ok” Claire replies grabbing her bag. 

She’s annoyed and so sick of people trying to read into things. She’s walking at a face pace, a million thoughts running though her head. Her irritation with Morgan, assumptions about male/female relationships, being in love with her boss. It all was too much. 

“Hey, you ok?” Neil asks finally able to get her attention  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I just had a lot on my mind”   
“You made the best decision you could have in the moment today.” He told her  
She nods. “I think I just think I need to go home and get some sleep. Try again tomorrow” she shakes her head.  
Neil feels his heart drop.   
“Yeah, get some rest” he forces a smile   
“Goodnight” she smiles


	16. To give in, or not to give in

Neil gets in his car and drives home. He analyzes the day, wondering if Claire thought about it and was mad at him for his jealousy. If anybody could see through it, it would be her. He wonders if she regrets the night before. His heart aches at the thought that she does. 

He considers driving to her apartment but doesn’t want to push it, after all he is her boss/mentor and has already crossed lines he shouldn’t have. There’s a part of him that is disappointed in himself especially not knowing if it’s what she really wants. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s felt this vulnerable or insecure about what to do. All he wants now it to turn off his brain from continually over analyzing the situation. 

He goes home and makes a glass of whiskey as he sits in his dark living room. He picks up his phone and considers texting her. Tapping at it with his finger a couple times he sits it back down. 

Claire walked into her empty apartment. The silence almost unbearable. She missed the warmth she was wrapped in last night. It was much different than instances when she’s used a man to make her feel good. This was a connection, like a warm blanket on a cold night. She decided to try taking a shower to wind down. 

Neil sat on the couch, his third glass of whisky in hand, trying to forget. The day started so promising, and then fell apart. 

He never planned on falling for her. He didn’t plan on last night happening and if he were being honest, he didn’t regret it but there was a thought it the back of his mind that maybe he should. Maybe it would be best if they moved forward and forgot about it. He takes another sip of his drink trying to stop thinking about it. 

There was a knock at his door, he got up to see who it was. Audrey had texted him to see if he was home, but he didn’t answer. She probably wanted to talk about his problem with Ross and he didn’t want to. 

He opens the door still holding his glass in one hand, his eyes reflecting he’s a little tipsy.   
“Hey” she smiles, her caramel curls falling down around her.   
“Come in” he says stepping back.   
“Can I get you a drink?” he asked as he subconsciously tapped his now almost empty glass.   
“Yeah” she replied with a nervous smile.   
He got a glass and poured hers, then his. His mind felt foggy, but still wouldn’t stop analyzing the situation which was nearly driving him insane.   
“This is it” he thought, “I have to tell her we can’t do this” he told himself as he picked up the glass to hand it to her.  
“Thanks” she smiled.  
“I’m glad you stopped by. I wanted to talk to you” he began. He took another sip of his drink looking for the courage to follow through with it.   
Claire sat her drink on the counter and nodded as she unbuckled her tan trench coat.  
“I can take that” he says referring to her coat, trying not be distracted by her.   
She starts to unhooks the buckle, “Today was…” she pauses trying to find the word.  
“yeah” he nods  
As she unhooks the buckle, she lets the coat slide down her shoulders as it reveals her light purple lingerie  
“Thanks” she says handing the coat to him, her hand brushing over one of the strands of curls falling over her shoulder. “What did you want to talk about?” she ask in a low sexy almost whisper  
He looks at her, his eyes moving up and down her body as he starts to wonder if he’s dreaming this.   
“Um” he replies taking another sip of his drink and smiles. He’s trying to restrain himself but it’s causing him to stand there in silence like and idiot because he can’t seem to form words.   
She steps closer.   
“You look tired” she says running her fingers along the buttons of his shirt as she stands close.  
“Maybe we should sit” she tells him as she places her hands on his chest and walks toward the couch.   
His the back of his legs hit the couch and she presses her hands on his chest so that he sits. He reaches his hand up and places it on her thigh. Tugging for her to come closer. She obliges and straddles him on her knees on the couch making sure she’s not actually on his lap. 

She reaches her hand up and brushes it along the top of his forehead then behind his ears making her way down his neck as she plays with the button on his shirt. 

“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asks

“I don’t, um” he replies blinking as he shakes his head.

“Are you ok?” she asks leaning back slightly

“Yeah” he says as a grin spread across his lips and his hands feel down her waist.

Her eyes search his face, before she tilts her head to the side. 

“Maybe I should check you out” she tells him

Neil lets out a laugh. “I’m fine. Really. I had a few glasses tonight but there’s nothing wrong” he smirks. 

Claire places her finger over his lips. 

“Shhh.” Let’s just make sure

Neil rolls his eyes and tosses his head back.   
“This is the problem with doctors” he thinks to himself.

Claire unbuttons his shirt and runs her hands over his chest up to his shoulders where her hands squeeze, feeling the tension in his shoulders. 

“Your muscles are tight” she comments as her hands make their way back down and he feels a shiver through his spine. 

He places his hands on her wrist, “I’m fine” he tells her not understanding on why she is insisting on this. 

She stops and looks at him with a poker face. He releases her wrist and holds his hands up. “You’re the boss” he tells her placing his hands on the couch. 

A satisfied smile appears on her face but he’s too tipsy to realize it.


	17. A Knock on the Door

She lifts herself off his lap and he’s washed over by fear that she’s leaving and he’s not ready for that yet. He may have thought he knew what he was going to say, what he was going to do, but… he just- he leans his head back and sighs trying to sort his thoughts. He feels Claire’s hands on his legs causing him to lift his head. 

She unbuttons his pants, running her hands over them and he moans.  
“I think it’s stress” she tells him as she runs her thumbs along his hip bone  
“hmm” he huffs  
“I’m going to do a test” she tells him  
“I don’t need..” he begins as he is suddenly surprised by the warm feel of her mouth.  
He reaches his hand down and feels her hair.  
He can feel vibrations as she humms and his breaths become more rapid.   
“How does this feel?” she ask as she teases him with her tongue  
“Hmmm.” he says his eyes closed as a he chuckles trying to refrain himself from taking charge  
“Still trouble with words?” she says as she goes back to her exam.   
“F**k Claire” he says as he can’t take anymore  
“Did you remember?” she asks innocently lifting here head as he pulls her arm to make her fall towards him kissing her with a hungry passion.   
He flips her over quickly on to her back and she moans as she feels him hard against her.   
“I want you so bad” he tells her in her ear “It’s driving me crazy”  
Claire freezes as she hears a knock at the door.   
“Are you expecting someone?” she ask as he looks back towards the door.  
“No” he replies as he resumes kissing her neck  
There’s another knock and pauses again “do you need to see who it is?” she says sitting up  
“I don’t care who it is” he replies, his hands still roaming her body as he pulls her to his lap  
He looks at her determined not to be distracted by anything.   
She giggles, “you are so drunk” she tells him as he ignores her and works on removing her bra. 

This time there is a knock but a little harder.   
“Neil I know you’re home I saw your car” Audrey says waiting at the door.   
Claire moves back from Neil and holds her breath nervously

Neil chuckles, “She can’t see through the door you know that right?”   
“You’ve got to..” she begins as she starts to panic some and tries to move but he holds her hips in place  
“F**k you? Yes” he finishes her sentence as he pulls her face close for a kiss.   
“We..” she begins  
“Hmm” he moans against her lips “should go to the bedroom?” he says standing   
“Neil” she says as he finds that spot on her neck that drives her nuts “the door” she tells him.   
“Who’s having trouble now? Maybe I need to do my own exam” he replies as he falls onto the bed with her. 

The knocking at the door stops, and was quickly forgotten and replaced with sounds of “please don’t stop,” moans, and some “yesss” being uttered. 

Eventually, Neil fell asleep and Claire watched him for a few minutes before she gave into sleep as well. She didn’t feel like anything was missing, and although there was silence it wasn’t lonely. She wonders what he had planned on saying to her tonight, and if it still matters. He didn’t seem reluctant in the least bit tonight, in fact if anything he was eager. Tonight, she was just going to accept that and allow herself some sleep.


	18. The Next Morning

Neil wakes up just before the alarm goes off, his head pounding. 

“ugh” he places his hands over his eyes

He feels a stir and looks over beside him to see Claire still asleep

He quietly gets out of bed and goes into the kitchen. 

A short time later Claire wakes up with the smell of bacon filling the air. 

She grabs her bra and panties and after putting them on she walks into the kitchen.

“Morning sunshine” Neil says as he flips a pancake over

“Good Morning” she smiles, “that smells so good” she tells him as he puts the pancake on a plate and steps closer to kiss her.

“You want a shirt?” he asks quickly adding “not that I’m not enjoying this more, you could even remove..” he says as he kisses her shoulder moving her bra strap down

Claire laughs, “a shirt would be great” 

He goes and grabs a random t-shirt from his room. Claire slips it on and he notices the front. It’s a Nike shirt with a swoosh and the words “Just do It.” He laughs to himself at the irony.

Claire wants to ask him about what he was going to say last night, but there’s a part of here that is scared so she doesn’t. Sometimes, one should just be content in the moment; or so her therapist told her. 

They finish breakfast and leave to head into work, taking their own cars and different routes as not to raise any suspicions. 

Neil is in his office going through some case files when Audrey pokes her head in. 

“Hey” she says walking in.

“Hey” he says closing one of the files.

“I was going to stop by and talk to you last night” she says

“Oh?” he replies innocently.

“Yeah. I knew you were frustrated. I sent you a text.” She tells him

He picks up the phone and looks, “oh that’s weird. I must’ve come through this morning” he says sitting it back down.

Audrey nods, “It happens.” She shrugged. “I also, stopped by and knocked on your door but maybe that didn’t go through either” she says standing on the side of his desk.

“Am I under arrest officer?” he asks feeling like it’s about to be an interrogation

Audrey rolls her eyes. “I was just checking in. Your car was out front, so it was weird that you didn’t answer” she says leaning against the desk now closer to his chair.

“Sometimes it’s hard to hear someone at the door” he shrugs opening another file. 

“Is it?”

“Yes. It is” he says firmly as if to challenge her accusing him of ignoring her.

“Oh, well, just so you know, apparently the other side of the door doesn’t work the same way because you could definitely hear some things on the other side” she smirks

Neil looks up but not directly at her “Maybe it was a movie” he says passing her comment off. 

“It could’ve been a porn I guess but I'd swear it was your voice” she stifles a laugh

Neil hangs his head wondering what she heard and how much of it she heard. 

“It’s kind of creepy that you were outside my door listening,” he says shaking his head.

“Ok, I wasn’t outside your door listening. I was trying to check on you and then heard noises and thought something was wrong, so I stood there for a minute and tried to hear what was happening inside, until someone made it clear they were begging for something else” her eyes widened. 

Neil rested his head in his hand. 

“Listen, I’m just glad you are finding company and moving past things and hopefully this helps the resident situation,” she tells him

“The resident situation?” he asks 

“You know what I’m talking about, or by this point if you don’t, I’m going to suggest therapy to help walk you through it. Anyway, based on the smile and noise last night it seems like you are occupied.” She pats his shoulder. 

Neil just shakes his head. Could it get more embarrassing? “Well probably if she knew who it was” he thought to himself.  
He walks downstairs to see how things are going, and as he walks down the hall he sees Dr. Ross standing at the nurses station talking to Claire. “Seriously” he thinks to himself as he rolls his eyes. 

Claire doesn’t seem him as he comes over and swipes the patient chart she has sitting on the desk. She sees the folder moves and it causes her to jump. “Dr. Melendez,” she says surprised.  
“Dr. Browne,” he says calmly. 

“Better get back to it. Don’t want to get you in trouble” Dr. Ross says leaving

Neil looks up “Really?” he remarks making a face.

Claire ignores the remark and starts to fill him in on the patient. He is writing some notes on the chart as he glances around to make sure no one will hear. Still writing he tells Claire discretely that Dr. Lim heard them last night. 

“WHAT?, Oh my god” Claire says shocked

“Calm down, she doesn’t know it was you” he chuckled, she knew it was me he shook his head. 

“Wow, I guess it's a good thing I parked further away” Claire shook her head. 

“Let me know when the blood work is complete for the patient, and we should probably schedule a scan.” He tells her closing the chart and handing it back. 

“Ok” she smiles, trying to hide the fact she’s mortified that Dr. Lim heard them. 

Neil walks away, he wasn’t going to tell her, something about seeing her standing there with Dr. Ross made him.


	19. Petty

“Melendez so hates me,” Derek said as he took a seat by Claire in the café. 

Claire laughed, “he doesn’t hate you.”

“So says you,” Derek says taking a bite of his salad. “How’s it going today?” he asks

“Good, I have a surgery this afternoon,” she says taking a bite of her chips.

“You going to the Gala next week?” he asks

“Yeah” she rolls her eyes

“You don’t like rubbing elbows with the wealthy?” he jokes

“ugh” she says with a chuckle. 

Melendez walks into the café to grab some lunch, he notices Claire and Derek sitting at a table talking. It got under his skin. He wasn’t sure why; he was normally a confident guy but something about seeing her with him just got to him.

He walked by the table where Claire and Ross were sitting. 

“Dr. Melendez,” Derek said catching his attention.

Neil looked over, “Dr. Ross, Dr. Browne.” 

“Are you going to the Gala next week?” Derek asked.

“It’s a required function for all surgeons” Neil replies 

“Oh, yeah, I remember Dr. Lim mentioning that” Derek chuckles uncomfortably

“Excuse me, I’ve got to get upstairs,” Melendez said as he left.

“See. He hates me.” Derek laughed

“No, it’s just him, until you get to know him,” Claire explained. 

“If you say so,” Derek said as they finished up. 

Later that afternoon Claire and Melendez were in his office looking at a patient’s chart when Derek knocked on the door. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Derek said entering.  
Melendez looked up.

“You forgot these” Derek said handing Claire some M&M’s. 

“Oh, Thank you,” Claire said as she could feel Neil’s eyes burning holes

“No problem” he smiled 

“That was a lifesaver” Melendez commented after Derek left.

“Why do you have such a problem with him?” Claire asked jokingly as she sat back down. 

“I don’t have a problem; I just don’t see what the big deal is” Neil replies looking back at the case

It was the first time Claire really saw that Neil seemed annoyed by Dr. Ross because of her. 

“He’s actually a good doctor” Claire replies.

“Who seems to like you a lot” Neil comments as he reads

“So, it’s over me?” Claire asks confused. 

“No” Neil replies

“Good, because that would be ridiculous and petty,” Claire tells him.

Her pager dings letting her know the lab has her blood work for their patient. 

Neil sits back at his desk. He knows it’s petty and he knows it’s the quickest way to piss her off. He takes a deep breath as he tries to figure out a way to work through it. 

His thoughts are interrupted by a tap on the door. 

“Hey” Dr. Andrews says entering

“Hey” Neil replies

“How’s it going? You are getting along with Brolendez?” Andrews pokes

Neil rolls his eyes. This isn’t helping

“Please don’t call him that,” Neil replies.

“I think it fits. He seems to have taken to Browne quite a bit”  
“Is there something you need, or did you just come in here to annoy me?” Neil asked unamused

“I wanted to see if you’d look over this and give me your opinion” Andrews stated giving him a patient file. 

“Sure,” Melendez said taking the file.


	20. Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna get a little painful. Just a warning :-/
> 
> Thank you again for all your comments and feedback!

That afternoon Neil went down to the conference room for a staff meeting. Glassman wanted to go over the Gala information there were also some awards being presented to residents which needed to be voted on. 

He gave them each a piece of paper with headings- Patient Care, Outstanding Resident, and Surgical Research.

Once completed Glassman took them back up and went over the results. 

“Ok, so it looks like for Patient Care it is.. between Dr. Park and Dr. Browne. Which leaves me as thee deciding vote. So, let’s hear what you guys thing.” He said sitting back. 

Melendez looked around trying to be conscious of being the first one to speak up for Claire. 

“I’ve seen a big improvement in Dr. Park and how he deals with patients. I think that his improvement should be acknowledged. Dr. Browne is incredible, as always but maybe we encourage someone else too” Audrey says

“I haven’t worked that closely with Dr. Park as of yet, but I can say that Dr. Browne has a way with patients that you don’t see typically.” Dr. Ross spoke up. 

“I agree with Dr. Lim, I think Park has stepped up” Andrews responded

Glassman looked at Melendez. “Neil?”

“Dr. Browne is consistently one of the best patient advocates and an even better communicator than most of us. She does a great job of balancing what needs to be done while going above and beyond for patients. That being said, I can also see how encouraging Dr. Park could be a good thing as well.” He responded. 

“Ok. I think we will go with Dr. Park on this one since Dr. Browne has previously received it.” Glassman resolved.

“Ok, up next- is Outstanding Resident,” he says looking through the papers. “And it is unanimously Dr. Browne.” He smiles. 

“And then we have the Research Excellence award, which by a vote will go to… Dr. Resnick” 

Also, I wanted to go ahead and mention so that you’ll be prepared; the recipient of the “Outstanding Mentor” award will be going to Dr. Melendez… congratulations” he nodded towards Neil. 

“Thank you” Neil said surprised

“Also, the Top Surgeon award will be going to.. Dr. Melendez” Glassman says. “It’s also worth mentioning that I was made aware just prior to coming in that Dr. Melendez is also being recognized by HealthCare Today Magazine as Northern California’s Top Surgeon”

Audrey pats Neil’s arm “Congratulations” she smiles. 

“Congrats” both Andrews and Ross offered. 

“Thank you” Neil replied graciously. 

“You gonna bring your new lady to the Gala?” Audrey asked 

The others in the room looked surprised but curious. 

“No, not yet” Melendez laughed. 

The HealthCare Today award would bring attention to him along with the Top Surgeon award from the hospital. He was excited but nervous at the same time as to how this will affect his relationship with Claire, especially with the Top Mentor Award. He could almost hear Andrews cracking a joke about it now. 

“You know” Audrey said walking up beside him “this sets Claire up to be Chief Resident next year.” 

“It would be good for her, she deserves it” Melendez replied. 

“She does. It’s ridiculous but women can be judged by different standards than men, which is why I was so persistent before about how things looked and making sure there weren’t things people would question” she tells him. 

“I understand that.” Neil nodded.

“You should think about bringing your new friend,” she told him as she left to go on her way. 

Neil went back to his office and scrolled through emails. Was this karma for him judging people who had a relationship with their subordinate? Now he knows how it feels. Should he take his own advice of “but they knew better?” 

Claire was walking out of a patient’s room when she got a text to see Glassman. She looked at it twice, unsure what it could be about. She walked down to his office in the clinic, as she approached, she noticed that Dr. Lim was in there as well. 

“Oh sh*t” she thought to herself, her heart rate increasing rapidly. “They know. Dr. Lim realized it was her and now- oh crap.” She worried as she reached the door. 

“Dr. Browne, thank you for coming down” Glassman said and Dr. Lim looked up and smiled. 

“We wanted to talk to you” he explained as Claire sat.

She nervously fidgeted with her hands and forced a smile.

“As you know, we have our Gala next week where there are awards presented to staff”

Claire nodded slightly relieved that this wasn’t about last night. 

“You will be receiving the Outstanding Resident Award” he smiled

A bright smiled crossed Claire’s face, “really? Thank you!” she replied. 

“You deserve it” Dr. Lim chimed in, “and it positions you to become Chief Resident next year if you keep up the amazing job you’re doing.” 

“I’m honored, thank you so much” Claire grinned.

“Also, Dr. Melendez will be receiving the Outstanding Mentor award. I know that you have previously praised him as a mentor, and I thought it might be nice for you to present it. He is aware of the award, but not that you’ll present it.” Glassman explained. 

“I’d be honored to” Claire replied 

“Great” Glassman said “Thank you and continue the great work” he smiled along with Dr. Lim. 

Claire walked out of the office relieved that the conversation didn’t have anything to do with what Dr. Lim heard last night. 

During their surgery, Neil was quieter than normal. He had to set his debates over what he had with Claire aside to focus on the surgery and tried to just concentrate on what he was doing. 

“You ok?” Claire asked as they scrubbed out.

“Yeah. I’m good” he replied. 

It felt awkward and she wasn’t sure why.

“Glassman told me that I was being recognized as ‘Outstanding Resident’” she said with a smile. 

“I head” he smiled and the chill in the air went away some. “Congratulations, it’s well deserved” he said drying his hands. 

“Thank you” she smiled happily. “Want to grab a bite?” she asked as she dried her hands.

“Sure” Neil replied almost as a reflex. He wasn’t doing a very good job of creating lines.

“Sounds good” Claire said as they exited. 

She convinced herself she must have been misreading him in surgery. Afterall, he didn’t seem to think twice about dinner. She checked her watch, not much more to finish up she thought happily. 

Neil wanted to kick himself. He didn’t want to be completely stupid and push her away causing her to hate him or making her fall back into the dark pattern she had dug her way out of. He also didn’t want to hurt her career or reputation because of his wants. She was special and different from most. If he were to prevent people from seeing that he could never forgive himself. It physically made him ache to think of her with someone else, but if he truly cared for her, he may have to learn to live with that pain.


	21. Hurt

They arrived at the restaurant around the same time. The hostess directed them to a booth in the back corner. It was private and discreet, which normally Neil would have appreciated. They made some small talk over dinner, but it was quieter than normal. She could tell something was bothering him but couldn’t figure out what it was. They finished their dinner and waited on the check. 

“You know, the Outstanding Resident award sets you up to be Chief Resident next year” he tells her taking a sip of his drink.

“Dr. Lim mentioned that, it seems crazy that time has gone by so fast that we’re almost to that point” Claire said smiling.

There was a twinkle in her eye, happiness for how far she had come and everything that she had overcome to get there. 

“Yeah it does” he laughed nervously. 

She reached across the table and put her hand over his holding his fingers. 

“You’ve worked really hard and have come into your own” he smiles. 

“That’s kind of you to say. You were a big part of it” she tells him as her thumb rubs over the top of his hand.

He looks down at the table, “It was all you” he says his voice now almost a whisper. 

“Claire, I love you” he says his eyes meeting hers.

“I love you too” she replies both hands squeezing his. 

“But we can’t do this” he says feeling his throat burn as he fights the emotions.

“Do what?” she asks

“This. Us. We can’t” he replies

She loosens her hold on his hand

“Why? She asks 

“Because it creates issues” he answers each word feeling like he’s being cut in slow agony

“It hasn’t created any issues. It hasn’t been any different at work than it always is” she argues his hand still in hers. “Neil,” she says as she tries to prevent a tear from falling. 

“I love you,” she tells him in an effort to fight for what they have. 

He looks at the table, his heart feeling like it may give out. This is what he has to do, not what he wants to do. If saving her means falling on his own sword and dying so be it. The thought of her resenting him down the road because he held her back would be unbearable. At least now she can move forward and not miss out on anything.

Claire let go of his hand and wiped her face. 

He wanted to explain further but he knew that his words wouldn’t help, not right now. Right now she was just going to hate him and as much as it killed him, he had to let her.   
“If this is what you want, then I guess there’s nothing I can say” she told him as she wiped another tear. “I guess I should go,” she said pulling out her wallet laying $40 on the table. 

“I’ve got this,” he tells her and picks the money up trying to hand it back to her.

She shakes her head no, “I can cover myself. Goodnight” she replies angry and hurt trying to hold it together long enough to get out of the restaurant. 

Neil feels like he can’t get air, his chest tightening as he clenches his fist trying to gain some sort of control over his emotions. He looks towards the wall as a tear falls down his cheek and he rest his fist against his mouth. His heart wanted him to un-do this, to run after her and say he was wrong. His head told him it’s how it had to be

Claire got to her car and lost it for a minute, feeling like a bomb had been dropped onto her world. Things were finally feeling whole, only for the rug once again to be ripped out from underneath her. She wanted to go back inside and tell him no, he didn’t get to just end it because he thought it was best. She was the one though, that had made the steps to advance their relationship to begin with, if he didn’t think she was worth it, she wasn’t chasing after it she thought as she composed herself focusing on her anger and headed home.


	22. Letting go

The next morning, Neil is still on the couch where he had been since he got home last night. The thought of going to the bed hurt, and it would feel especially cold anyway. He didn’t recall it ever hurting this bad, even when Jessica ended their engagement; he was able to keep moving forward. Right now, he just wanted to sulk in his misery. He picked up his phone and texted Audrey.

“I won’t be in today; I’m not feeling well. You can contact me though if there are any issues” he typed and hit send. 

Maybe a run would clear his head, or maybe it would just remind him of Claire. He felt helpless and couldn’t drown himself in work because she was there. When Audrey told him it was over it hurt, but not quite like this and it was easier to avoid her at work. 

Claire went in to the hospital, her eyes a little puffy but her determination to get through the day stronger. She’d put on her smile and get through this like she has everything else that has happened to her in life, even though she felt like her left arm had been cut off.

She decided to start with rounds instead of waiting up in the lounge. Once she finished she headed over and noticed that his office was still dark. She wondered where he was. She walked into the lounge where Morgan and Park were sitting. 

“Dr. Melendez isn’t in yet?” she asked  
“No, Dr. Lim said he was sick. She said for you to check in with Andrews regarding any patient issues. “ Park replied  
Claire nodded. 

“You ok?” Alex asked

“Yeah, I’m fine” Claire smiled as she opened up a laptop to do some research. 

A little while later she stopped by Dr. Andrews office to give him a status update. 

“Hey Dr. Browne, what can I do for you?” he asked finishing up a chart.

“I just wanted to give you an update on my current patients.” She said giving a quick run through. 

“Sounds like you’ve got it under control” Andrews smiled

“Thanks” she replied “If you need anything just let me know” she said before turning to leave. 

Walking out of Andrews office she ran into Dr. Ross. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked 

“Good” she smiled as they walked. 

“You ok?” he asked noticing she looked different today.

“Yeah, I’m fine” she shrugged off. “Did you get the guy in the ER who had the mower that fell on him?” she asked 

“Yeah, I’m actually about to head into surgery with it. I heard Melendez isn’t here so if you want to scrub in, you can. Murphy is at lunch.” He offered

“Sure, I’m in” she smiled happy to have something else to occupy her mind for a while. 

“Oh wow, this is gruesome” Claire said as they began the surgery. 

“Yeah, Andrews will have to come in next to do some repair work” Derek replied. 

“I just don’t understand how a mower falls on you” Morgan comments.

“His wife said he was pulling it off a trailer” Derek commented. 

“He won’t be mowing for a while” Morgan responded, and they worked on the patient. 

He had crushed his arm, had internal bleeding and head trauma all in the matter of a few seconds. 

The surgery took a while, and Claire was grateful because the quieter the day the more time for her to analyze the recent events. Once the surgery was done she had one more set of rounds to do and was done for the day. 

As she left the hospital, Derek came out behind her. 

“Want to get that drink tonight?” he asks 

Claire smiles, “I actually have something I have to do tonight, but next time” she tells him. 

“Ok, I’m going to hold you to it” Derek smiles as they walk towards the garage. 

Claire had called her therapist hoping that if she sat down and talked this out it might help give her some perspective.

“What would you like to talk about Claire?” the therapist asked handing her a glass of hot tea.

Claire took a deep breath. She fidgeted with her fingers and twisted her mouth trying to figure out how to explain this. 

“Remember when I told you I thought I was in love with my boss?” she asked

“Yes” the therapist replied

“A couple nights ago, we um, slept together,” Claire explained

“I see” the therapist nodded, “how did that go?”

“It was” Claire looked up, her eyes watery, “amazing, and made me feel whole.” 

“Did you guys talk about it the next morning?”

“Not really” Claire replied. “But, we spent the next night together as well. We got up and had breakfast together and then went into work” 

“Did it change things at work for you?” The therapist asked. 

“No, everything was normal at work” she replied

“but” the therapist interjected.

“We went to dinner last night and he told me we couldn’t do this” Claire said as a tear fell. 

“Did he say why?” The therapist asked

“He said it would hold me back and hurt my reputation if anyone found out.” Claire answered her knees bouncing nervously

“Do you think he’s right?” the therapist asked

“No.” Claire replied. “Maybe. I don’t know. But I’m a grown woman and can handle the consequences of my choices” she finished.

“What would you have done in his shoes?” her therapist asked

“I would’ve taken the chance” Claire replies

“Even if it could have hurt his career?” 

Claire looked at her. 

“My career isn’t much if I go home to a lonely apartment every night” she replies.

“But if you were the superior and he was your subordinate, would you have continued the relationship?” she questioned

“I’d like to think I would have let him make his own choice” Claire replies

“Even if later he came to resent you for it?” the therapist asked.

Claire wiped her face. 

“I wouldn’t have resented him for it. I would have not started it at all or been all in” Claire says looking down at the floor. 

“Sometimes as humans we make connections with people and regardless of what we think or know, we give in to feelings and emotions. It’s possible he is trying to do what he feels is the right thing ethically and morally.” 

“But we are two consenting adults. Who aren’t married. I don’t understand the big issue” Claire replies frustrated.

“Relationships get tricky and can cloud judgment. Many companies have policies against a Superior/Subordinate relationship. It can lead to compromises in decisions.”

“But this wasn’t affecting our working relationship,” Claire tells her.

“Not yet, but it’s possible it could have” the therapist says. 

“I feel like I’ve lost one of my mentor and my friend, the person I love and I can’t go back to it” she says rubbing her eyes trying to stop the tears. 

“You’ll find a way to be friends again, it may just take some time.” The therapist tells her

“Hmm” Claire replies sitting back. 

“You’ll get through this Claire. Focus on your patients, think of a new skill you’d like to learn and put your energies into it.” The therapist suggests. 

“Yeah” Claire nods feeling numb and just as alone as she did before coming here. 

Heading home she tries not to think about him. Wonder if he’s thinking about her. At least she has a couple days, maybe she an sleep through it.


	23. Just a Drink

The weekend passes painfully slow for Claire. She doesn’t feel much better than she did the other day. She tried to go for a run, but only thought of him as she did so gave up. She considered going to the gym, but he used the same one. Her options were narrowing down fast. 

Walking out to her car to head to work she realized she was on empty and didn’t have time to stop for gas and get to work on time. She decided to take the bus. As if her luck couldn’t get any worse walking towards the hospital entrance at the same time, she did was Neil. 

Unfortunately, he noticed her first so there was no way she could avoid him. She was a big girl and could handle this, or so she told herself. Their eyes met and he smiled, saying hi at almost a whisper. She smiled back her heart dropping feeling like she was being dropped from a skyscraper. This hurt more than she expected. 

Neil saw her as he walked up to the hospital. At first he wanted to freeze, unsure of what to say or do. He expected today to be a little awkward, but did they have to run into each other at the start? 

They walked through to the elevators and he picked up his pace a little to catch the door. He held the door as she approached. 

“I’m gonna take the stairs, thanks” she forced a smile.

He nodded in response. He could tell she was hurt. He was hurt. He could feel the water building in his eyes. He blinked rapidly to try and stop them taking a deep breath to compose himself. 

Walking towards his office Dr. Ross stopped him. 

“Feeling better?” he asked 

“Yeah, I think so” Melendez replied

“Good. I um, wanted to let you know when you were out it was slow, and Murphy was out so Dr. Browne stepped into a trauma surgery with me. If it weren’t for her there’s a guy who may have bled out from a tiny metal shard” he explained. 

Neil wanted to respond, “shouldn’t you have caught that” but he didn’t. Instead he simply said “that’s good” and walked towards his office. 

Claire came up the stair well and headed towards the lounge. 

“I think your boss is still in a bad mood” Ross said standing at the nurses station on the floor.   
“Hmm?” Claire asked not really paying attention. 

“Melendez. Seems moody. Maybe it’s just him, I don’t know” Derek rolled his eyes. 

Claire let out a laugh. “Have a good one” she smiled. 

She walked into the lounge and sat beside Park while they waited on their weekly assignments. 

“Glad to see nothing blew up while I was out” Melendez joked as he held folders in his hand. 

“Why would that happen?” Shaun asked

Park rolled his eyes and Morgan tossed her hair over her shoulder shaking her head. 

“Never mind” Melendez chuckled trying to move past the now awkward moment. 

“Here’s your patients. Dr. Park, you are with Dr. Ross, Dr. Resnick you’ll report to Andrews, Murphy and Browne you’re with me.” He said passing out the folders. “You can go ahead and get started with your rounds” he explained as he tried to avoid looking directly at Claire without being obvious and headed to his office. 

She was shocked that he put had her reporting to him. Not that she minded, she just didn’t see it happening. 

Their patient was having blackouts and sometimes saw white spots. They’d also use the incorrect word for items thinking that they were saying the correct name but it not coming out correctly, like calling a vase a puppy. Claire and Shaun went in to do their vitals and talk with them. 

They went into the lounge to discuss the situation. Claire set up the board as Shaun notified Melendez that they were ready. 

Melendez came out and sat down looking at their notes. 

“Those are quiet the list of symptoms” he commented looking them over. 

“tell me about it” Claire replied. 

“It could be a tumor on her brain” Shaun said

“It could, but it could also be many other things” Claire responded “like aphasia, or it could result of a stroke, or mental issues” 

Melendez nodded. “Let’s get a full panel, a scan, and possibly a psych eval.” He instructed   
Claire nodded pushing back from the table as Neil looked over at her. His heart ached, like it never had before. He wanted to talk to her, see how she was but it wouldn’t help anything. 

Claire was professional and it would be unnoticeable to most anyone else, but he could feel the distance between them. “Just keep working” he told himself. 

Claire and Shaun went to the patient’s room to draw blood and Shaun took it down to the lab. Claire checked the patient’s vitals and chatted a little more with him and tried to decode what it was they meant. She had called down to psych to schedule a consult. 

Melendez decided to check in on the patient prior to heading to a meeting not realizing Claire was in the room. By the time he realized it, she had noticed him so it was too late to turn around. 

“Mr. Williamson, Hi, I’m Dr. Melendez” he introduced himself. He could see Claire’s body tense up with him in the room. 

“Oh Dr. Browne has told me you’re the best” Mr. Williamson replied.

Neil smiled, “she’s equally as good” he replied. 

Claire’s back was too him and it was taking all she had not to get emotional. 

“I’m going to go schedule your scan, I’ll be back around shortly” she smiled at the patient and avoided eye contact with Melendez as she left the room.

Shaun, Melendez and Claire sat in the lounge discussing test results and trying to figure out what was wrong. 

“It’s frustrating” Shaun said and paused

Melendez looked up waiting for him to finish

Claire looked over “What’s frustrating” 

“The fact that he cannot tell us what he really means. He’s using different words to describe how he feels than how he actually feels.” He explained.

“I’m sure it’s even more frustrating for him because he knows what he wants to say but can’t. Think about how you feel when you want to tell someone ask you question after question” Claire responds. 

Melendez nods. “Because of the location of the spot on his brain, it’s going to be hard to reach, we’re going to need to weigh the risk and present them to him”  
“Or we could just decide for him and tell him it’s how we’ll proceed” Claire mumbled

“That would be easier” Shaun replied knowing Claire wasn’t serious. 

Melendez looked over, knowing she wasn’t really referring to this situation. 

“Get a list put together and we’ll go over it with him” he instructed as he got up.

Claire nodded and grabbed her pen to get started. 

They presented the information to the patient, and Melendez advised him to think it over, he had a little time before they had to have a decision. 

That evening before leaving Claire stopped in his office. 

“I was checking in on Mr. Williamson before I left and he says that he wants to move forward with the surgery” she said looking at the desk and not Melendez.

Neil sat back in the chair. “it’s risky but if it’s what he wants”

Claire shrugged, “maybe he feels it’s worth the risk.” 

“Claire, this isn’t easy for me either” he started to explain

“I don’t really want to talk about it. Have a good evening Dr. Melendez” she said turning to leave. 

He walked out onto the balcony, hitting the rail. He was starting to resent his work and the position it has put him in. 

As she walked out of the hospital she noticed Derek leaving. 

“Hey” she said noticing he had an exhausted look on his face.

“Hey” he cheered up some at the sight of her. 

“You ok?” she asks

“It’s been a really long day. A really long day” he chuckled. 

“At least it’s over now” she tried to console. 

“True” he said taking a deep breath.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she went the opposite way.

“Where ya headed?” he asked curiously

“Bus stop. I didn’t have time to stop for gas this morning so I took the bus” she laughed. 

“Can I give you a ride?” he offered “I do still owe you a drink after all” 

Claire laughed, she didn’t really want to but was out of excuses. That, and she needed a distraction.

“Sure” she gives in and he looks surprised.


	24. Just a Kiss?

“What made your day so long?” Claire asked making small talk

“It started with the guy who ran a saw over his arm, then a woman who “fell down the stairs” causing a broken arm and head contusions, then a guy who put a screw through his hand.”

“Oh wow” Claire’s eyes grew wide. “Yeah, sounds like a long day”

“What about you? You don’t seem your cheery self” he asked

“I’m fine, just tired” she tells him. 

They hung out at the bar for a couple hours swapping stories and laughing. 

After a couple rounds of shots, Claire was definitely tipsy. 

“One more” she says with a laugh. 

“I gotta drive, I can’t. I’ve got to start drinking some water” he laughed. 

The bartender over hears him mention a water and brings one over. 

“I think she likes you” Claire nods and lifts her eyebrows

Derek shakes his head. 

“So, can I ask you a question?” he asks looking at her. 

“Sure” Claire replied placing her hands down on the bar

“You and Melendez” he started

Claire laughed

“You know what I’m going to ask” he says with a chuckle

“How many surgeries have we done?” she asked jokingly

“Is that what they’re calling in now a days” he replied

She almost spit out her drink at his response. 

“No. We’re not…” she gestured with her hands going in various directions “you know” 

“Oh” he says surprised

“He’s my attending, and I’m his resident.” She says holding her glass

“If he wasn’t?” Derek asked

“Ha.” Claire replied her happy mood fading

“I’ll deny it if you ever tell anyone but between you and me he’d be stupid to use the attending excuse. Some rules are worth breaking” he tipped his water glass towards her. 

“Are you a rule breaker?” she asked intrigued. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Derek was attractive, and she was noticing it even more so now. He was funny and made her laugh which she needed right now.

“If the risk is worth it” he replies with a grin. 

“hmmm” she laughs. 

She wants to feel… something. Right now, all she has is a void and numbness. 

He leans in closer, as her eyes move to his lips before he kisses her slowly, the taste of liquor on her lips. 

She smiles as he pulls back.

“Want to get out of here?” he asks

“Sure” she replies


	25. The New Claire

They walk to the car and he opens her door, kissing her once more before she gets in. It feels good to be wanted, to be worth a risk. 

It’s not what she wants though, or maybe not who she wants. The old Claire would invite him to come inside because it would allow her to feel good. 

This Claire though, knew that sometimes you had to feel the pain and push through it not avoid it. 

“Thanks, for tonight. I needed a laugh” she tells him as they pull in to her apartment complex. 

“Anytime.” He smiles. Feeling as though she isn’t so sure about inviting him he tells her “have a good night.”   
“you too” she says as she closes the door. It feels like for the first time in days she’s been able to breathe. There’s a piece of her that would much rather have had him come inside with her but she knew she would just be going in reverse. 

The next day she did complete her rounds and went down to the lab to check on some test. On her way she ran into Derek.

“Hey” he smiled

“Hi” she replied stopping to chat

“How’s it going?” he asked 

“Good, how about you?” 

“Better than yesterday” he laughed.

“That shouldn’t be too hard” she joked.

“You’re telling me!” he shook his head. “Um, about last night” he started

“Yeah” she took a breath and laughed nervously.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and hope I didn’t overstep, that wasn’t my intention at all” he explained

“no, not at all. I was a willing participant” she replied, “but I don’t think it should happen again, or at least for now” she told him. 

There was a flash of hurt on his face. “I thought you might say that” he shrugged. “and I understand. I’d still like to be your friend. And if that ever changes to where you want more, I’d be up for that too” he smiles

“Thank you for understanding,” she says as she hugs his neck, “and I definitely think we’re friends” she smiles widely. 

Neil sees the two of them talking although he doesn’t know what about. He sees her embrace him and feels as though a knife has been stuck right into his chest. There’s a burning sensation and a sharp pain. He bites the inside of his mouth to try and distract himself from the feeling. 

Dr. Ross says something else to Claire and she laughs bumping him playfully with her arm as they walk away down the hall. Neither of them notices Melendez coming down the hall behind them. He’s angry, hurt, and sad all at the same time. He gets to the end of the hall and glances to see if they ducked inside a supply closet. They didn’t, he can see they are headed to the other end of the hall towards the elevators. The fact that they seem so chummy is eating him alive. 

He feels like an addict trying to stop a drug. He’s having withdrawals and physical symptoms are starting to show. He understood she was hurt and didn’t want to be angry with her but a piece of him felt it was the only way to move past it. After all, how could she move on to be so close to someone else, another doctor at the hospital, so fast?

Neil avoided her as much as possible for the rest of the day. 

The next morning, Claire and Derek had breakfast in the café. It wasn’t planned but they were both there and sat together. Derek also was good at lightening her mood and she needed that right now. 

She was laughing at a joke he told her as they approached the elevator door that had just closed. She hit the up button and the doors opened immediately. As they did she saw Neil standing there leaning against the rail. She froze for a second as Derek stepped on looking at his phone. 

“Claire?” he looked up and saw Melendez. 

“Dr. Melendez” Claire acknowledged as she stepped onto the elevator. Standing close to the door she stared straight ahead the entire time. Melendez looked at the floor. Derrick stood against the back wall watching the awkwardness take place. He made a mental note to avoid elevators with the two of them on it. 

The doors finally opened, and Claire darted out, as if she was coming up for air. Neil walked the opposite direction to avoid trailing behind her. Derek caught up to her “hey speed walker” he said now beside her. 

“Hmm?” she asked realizing how fast she was walking along, “oh, sorry” she replied

“If you need to talk I’m here” he offered.

“Thanks, I better get to work” she smiled.

She walked into the lounge and noticed that Melendez looked up from his desk. He looked irritated, not that he didn’t most of the time they were around each other now. He got up and walked into the lounge with a folder.


	26. Hostile Environment

“We will be working with Dr. Andrews on a patient who is having trouble with motor skills and experiencing dizziness, weakness and fatigue. They recently had an episode where they were cooking, and it caused them to severely burn their arm which is where Dr. Andrews comes in. We will be looking the symptoms with him to find out what could be the cause.” 

Andrews came by and stuck his head in the door, “you guys ready?” he asked   
“Yes” Melendez replied as the residents got up to follow. 

“I saw you and McDreamy having breakfast” Morgan said looking over at Claire as they walked behind Andrews and Melendez. 

Claire rolled her eyes not willing to discuss. 

Andrews couldn’t help himself. He stopped and turned around, “I’m sorry. Did you just say McDreamy?” 

Morgan stopped; stone faced not realizing that anyone else was paying attention.

“Um, you know” she tried to pass off. 

“Is this worth keeping the patient waiting?” Melendez asked 

Andrews shook his head and laughed as he turned and started walking. 

Claire felt, embarrassed and ashamed then angry that she had those feelings when there was literally nothing going on. 

Neil did everything in his power to not stand by her, look at her, or even address her when they were around each other today. 

It seemed as though anytime she ran in to Derek, Neil was not far behind to see them together. 

She went to pick up the blood panel she had run from the lab when they told her Melendez had picked it up. 

She went up to his office, opening the door “Hey” she said walking in. 

He looked up at her as he was standing beside his desk looking at a medical book but didn’t directly make eye contact.

“I went down to the lab to pick up the blood panel, but they said you had grabbed it?” she asked

“Yeah. I was down there so I went ahead and got it” he replied as he gestured towards the open folder on his desk. 

“Oh” she says, “you could have mentioned it when you saw me downstairs”

“You looked busy” he replied “it’s right there if you want to look at it” he told her.

Claire stood there trying to compose herself her hands tapping by her side. 

“It was a two second conversation that I had” she replied as she could feel her throat burn fighting the urge to be more emotional and stopping tears from forming. 

“I didn’t say anything” he replied offended

“Exactly, you didn’t say anything, just like you haven’t for the past few days. Avoiding interacting with me at all cost.” She said her frustration coming out.

“Here” he said firmly talking the file off his desk and holding it out in his hand. “Would you like for me to hand you the results? Do you want me to read them to you? What exactly am I supposed to do?” he asked his voice raised. 

Claire stood there so mad she could throw something. 

Dr. Andrews saw them through the glass and opened the door. 

“Everything ok in here?” he asked seeing the interaction and feeling the tension in the room. 

“Yes” Melendez replied tossing the file back onto his desk as he rested his hands on his hips. 

Claire turned and exited, her eyes glassy. 

“What the hell was that about?” Andrews asked walking over towards Melendez

“Nothing” Neil responded

“DIdn’t look like nothing” Andrews said standing there with his arms crossed. “It looked hostile, mostly on your part.” He told him

“I’m tired of residents acting as though I report to them and have to explain my every move” Neil said sitting. 

“What was she questioning?” Andrews asked 

“I picked up some blood work from the lab that was ready and when she went down there, they told her and she was angry I hadn’t let her know” Melendez explained. 

“Is that it?” Andrews asked

“Yes” Neil said dropping his pen down on the desk. 

“That seemed a lot more intense than just that.” Andrews responded

“That was it” Neil said moving things around on his desk.

“So it has nothing to do with Dr. Browne spending time with Dr. Ross recently?” Andrews asked.

“No, I don’t care what she does as long as her work is done” Melendez replied

“I.. don’t think that’s totally true” Andrews responded. “You’ve avoided eye contact with her, physically tense up when you have to stand next to her and probably picked up the blood panel from the lab to piss her off” he finished.

“That’s your imagination” Melendez responded. Although, if he were being honest, he did pick up the blood work and not tell her to piss her off. She was so even toned he needed to see some sort of emotion from her. 

“Listen, it’s starting to boil over and an explosion in imminent at this rate. Whatever it is, you need to figure it out before it blows up on you because what I just saw, definitely comes off as a hostile work environment.” Andrews told him as he stood there for a couple seconds and then turned to leave. 

As he passed the nurses station he noticed Claire standing there. 

“Dr. Browne” he says standing beside her.

“Dr. Andrews” she forces a smile. 

“Walk with me” he instructs 

She reluctantly goes. 

“What’s going on with you and Melendez?” he asks 

“Nothing” she replies

“When I just saw wasn’t nothing” he says stopping in the hall and facing her. 

Claire looks around for a minute trying to compose her thoughts. 

“I was frustrated because he hadn’t told me he picked up blood work from the lab when he passed me downstairs” she replied. 

“You know that he is in fact the Attending and he isn’t required to explain himself right?” Andrews asked

“Yes. I understand that.” Claire said clenching her jaw

“That being said, there’s no reason for him to come off as hostile in explaining himself. I’ve said something to him but you do have the right to talk to someone else if you choose” Andrews advised knowing she wouldn’t but covering his bases 

“I understand” she replied. 

Andrews nodded and went on his way. 

Claire walked to the ladies’ room and went inside a stall. Standing there she let the tears fall that she had been trying so hard to keep inside. This was idiotic love gone wrong, and it hurt more than she could’ve imagined.


	27. Company

At the end of the day she asked Shaun if he could give Melendez the patient update, she had an appointment and so he agreed. 

Shaun walked into Melendez’s office and let him know the patient status. Neil was slightly surprised that it was Shaun as normally it was Claire. 

“Thank you for the update.” Neil replied. Apparently, he had more than pissed Claire off. 

Claire met with her therapist to talk things over. She explained the day, and her frustration with Melendez. She also shared that she went for drinks with Dr. Ross the other night as well. 

“I’m proud of you Claire for drawing boundaries. It’s a huge step and you should be proud.” She said trying to point out the positive. 

“I don’t feel any better” Claire admitted

“You don’t always when you are going through it, but you will. Trust me” the therapist explained. 

It was an hour later before Claire left and headed home. She walked into her cold, empty apartment. Grabbing her guitar, she sat down and tried to distract herself in a non-self-destructive manner. 

She noticed a missed call from Neil on her cell. He didn’t leave a message, so she didn’t bother calling him back. 

Neil knew Andrews was right, that he had crossed the line with his anger and that really it wasn’t anything Claire had done other than being professional and making him feel confused. Against his better judgement he tried to call her but she didn’t answer. He considered driving over to her apartment to talk but decided that could be worse so he threw the keys back into the small basket on the counter. He sat on the couch for a minute before picking up the phone. 

“Want to get a drink?” he typed and hit send

“Sure” the response came through. 

He walked into a pub not too far from his house and took the empty barstool. 

“Hey” Audrey said with a smile

“Hey” Neil replied 

“ordered you a drink” Audrey said gesturing towards the drink in front of him.

“Thanks” he smiled

“What’s going on?” she asked turning towards him

“I just thought we hadn’t been out for drinks in a while” Neil responded

Audrey laughed. 

“I’m not buying it” she responded.

“What about your friend?” Audrey asked.

“If you don’t want to hang out we don’t have to” Neil said annoyed

“I was just asking. You’ve seemed edgy lately” she responded her tone softened.


	28. The Stairwell

“I just don’t want to talk about it” he replied

“Ok” she smiled

They made small talk as they sat at the bar and drank until last call. 

“Guess we should get out of here” Audrey said searching his face looking for answers. 

“Guess so. The day is going to start early” he replied

“Want some company?” she asked looking down before back up at him. 

“I should probably sleep this off” he replied with a small laugh. 

“Suit yourself” she smiled. “I’ll still drop you off, you had more than I did and you shouldn’t walk home like that” she laughed. 

“Ok, but no means no” he said with a chuckle

She smacked his arm, “C’mon” 

Audrey was ok with casual sex, she was career driven and focused and didn’t really want the relationship aspect of things to complicate life for her. He could have invited her over and she would’ve been fine with leaving it at that, but he knew it wasn’t right especially since the person he wanted was Claire. 

The next day Claire continued to avoid Neil when she could. She remained completely professional at all times. She was headed back upstairs and decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator to avoid being stuck in there with him. She had gotten up one flight when they met as he was on his way down.

“Seriously?!?!” she cursed herself under her breath. She smiled courteously and kept walking. Neil stopped and called her name. She turned to look.

“I’m sorry. I was out of line the other day” he told her making eye contact for the first time in days. 

“Thank you” she replies

Her lack of emotion is like walking into a fast-freeze freezer in shorts, he could feel the frostbite on his skin. 

Not knowing what else to say he nods and starts to go down the steps. 

“You know, this wasn’t my decision. It was yours” she says stepping back down a couple steps towards him. “You don’t get to be angry at me for who I talk to or what I do because you decided you didn’t want me” she tells him angrily

“I didn’t have a choice” he replies almost in a whisper. 

“You did have a choice” she shoots back

He feels horrible but frustrated at the same time that she is so mad at him. 

“Well, it seems like you and Dr Ross are getting along well so I’m sure it will be ok” he replies shaking his head and taking another step down. 

His words set Claire off and she storms down the stairs to where he’s at

“No. No. You don’t get to assume things and judge me” pointing her finger at his chest, tears welling up in her eyes. “You may be my attending and I realize that I have to respect that and be professional which I am trying my best to do. But you don’t get to decide to blur personal lines whenever YOU see fit. There are no rules that I am breaking and quite frankly if I were you don’t get to judge someone else for feeling I’m worth that risk” she tells him wiping her face. She’s so angry she could physically hit him right now. 

It cut deep for Neil and he knew she was beyond angry. He wanted to defend himself but couldn’t. He nodded and then turn to leave. He heard her let out a sob and gasp of air as he got to the door. If there was ever a time when he just wanted to die this was it. 

Claire composed herself and got back upstairs. As badly as she wanted to leave for the day, she refused to let this sideline her. She had surgery in an hour and needed to get her head straight. 

The surgery was long, Neil was very conscious of being professional towards her, making sure he balanced the work she and Shaun performed and listened to their inputs equally. Leaving for the evening he was behind her on the open stairs going to the garage area. 

“Hey” he called out and she turned reluctantly. 

“You did good work in there today” he told her hoping to smooth things over. 

“Thank you” she replied with no emotion attached before continuing to walk to her car. 

He stood there in silence and watched her walk away.


	29. The Gala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it :). I hope you enjoy and thank you all so so much for your comments and for reading the story. I appreciate is so much!

The next night was the Gala, which meant she had a shorter shift. 

“How long do these things normally last?” Derek asked her as they walked down the hall 

“A few hours. After about two, people start getting good and tipsy which can be funny” Claire commented. 

Derek laughed, “I bet” 

He could see Claire tense up as he looked to notice Melendez walking by. 

They didn’t speak, Melendez just smiled and gave a nod towards them. 

“Things still cold there?” Derek asked

“It’s fine” Claire replied

“I’ll save you a seat beside me in case you decide you really want to piss him off, I’ll even pick you up if you want” he smiled

Claire laughed, “thanks, I’ll drive though” 

“If you change your mind” he told her with a grin as he turned to leave. 

The morning passed quickly; Claire got ready to head home so she could get ready. 

Entering the Gala, the room was filled with beautiful flowers. She scanned the room as she walked in. She saw Dr. Glassman and his wife along with Shaun talking. “Andrews was chatting with someone in a suit, she saw Derek talking with Morgan and Alex, then noticed Neil turning around from the bar and seeing her. She could be wrong, but she was pretty sure he held his breath for a second as he gave her a once over. 

Her dress was crème colored with a high neck and thin spaghetti straps and made of a satin like fabric that was loose but hugged her curves at the same time. It was very Megan Markle after wedding like. Neil’s gaze was interrupted by Audrey introducing him to someone. 

Claire decided to say hi to Morgan, Park and Derek. As she approached them all of their jaws nearly dropped. 

“Damn Browne” Morgan smiled

“You look amazing” Derek commented

“Seriously” Alex chimed in. 

“What do I look like normally?” Claire asked laughing. 

Things were about to start where they went over hospital statistics and wins and then improvements that they are working towards. Next up were the awards that were presented. Derek patted her back in congratulations of the “Outstanding Resident” award which she went up and accepted. If Neil could have shot lasers out of his eyes, he would have with the stare he was giving. 

After accepting her award Claire turned and sat it down, as the stagehand gave her another plaque. 

“Tonight, it’s my pleasure to honor our next recipient. This recipient has been an influence not only on myself but on my fellow residents as well. He leads by an example of excellence, always willing to answer questions and help give directions. It’s rare to find someone who is an excellent a surgeon and able to balance being a mentor as well. 

Neil felt like there was a boulder in his throat and he couldn’t swallow. He did not get emotional about these kinds of things. 

“Please give a hand to our Outstanding Mentor Award to the most talented surgeon I’ve worked with, Dr. Neil Melendez.” 

She said as Neil approached thinking of anything but the current situation because it was more than he could take at the moment. She handed him the plaque and kissed his cheek, holding it together long enough to get off the platform. 

It hurt so much. She exited the ballroom and went outside to a side balcony trying not to cry and cause her makeup to run. 

On the stage before he exited Glassman stepped beside him. 

“Hold on one second” he instructed as Neil turned. 

“I think Dr. Browne’s speech covered everything so well that I am not sure what else could be added to it. We are also honoring Dr. Melendez tonight with recognition as Top Surgeon” he said handing him a large plaque and envelope. 

“I’m honored, thank you so much. It is the people that I work with that inspire me to continually improve and grow. Thank you” he smiled as he walked back down the stairs. 

Allegra came up and said a few words letting everyone know the desert tables were coming out and to enjoy themselves.   
Neil looked around and didn’t see Claire. He attempted to exit but was stopped by a donor who was asking questions. He answered them and tried not to seem like he was in a rush. He noticed Derek was about to walk by. “Let me introduce you also to Dr. Ross, who recently joined us. He’s previously done a lot of work with Doctors without Borders” Neil explained which intrigued the donor and allowed him to exit the conversation. 

He walked out of the ballroom and down the hall some when he saw an exit to a balcony on the left. He decided to check and see if she were possibly out there or if she left. Opening the door he didn’t see anyone, there wasn’t much light out. It wasn’t until what looked like a shadow against the wall caught his eye that he realized someone else was out there. 

“Hey” he said walking closer.

“Hi” she replied

“Thank you, for your kind words,” he said looking down even though the darkness hid his expressions from her. 

“They were true” she said wiping a tear

“I’ve been an ass this last week and I’m sorry.” He told her

“It’s fine, it’s in the past” she replied as she stepped away from the wall she was leaning on. 

“You’re worth the risk. And if it was just my risk, I wouldn’t think twice. But it could affect you to and I can’t mislead you when I know that” he tells her, his voice reflecting the pain he feels. 

“I don’t need protecting, I know the risk” she replies

He wishes that were true, but he knows better than to say that out loud. 

“I’m sorry also that you felt like I was judging you for moving on, it wasn’t intentional” he told her as he focused on her face his eyes now adjusted to the dim moonlight. 

“It hurt. I told you, if it were my choice it would be you. Every time. I thought you knew me better” she replies.

“I was jealous and said things I didn’t mean” he admitted stepping closer to her. 

“You’re forgiven” she replies. She wants to step closer and close the gap between them but refuses to give in. If he wants her, this time he’s going to have to take the step. 

“I’m lost without you, I don’t even know how to explain.” he tells her taking her hand. 

“I love you” he says stepping closer and placing his hand on the side of her face, kissing her passionately.

She wants to fight giving in, but at the same time doesn’t want to. Her arms wrap around his neck kissing him back. His hands feel the satin of her dress as he runs his hands down her waist. 

“I love you too” she tells him as she leans her head against the wall closing her eyes. He kisses her neck and presses himself closer to her. 

“We should get back in there” she reluctantly says

“I don’t want to” he tells his fingers running down her neck and shoulders

“They’re going to wonder where we are at” she tells him

He closes his eyes for a second before stepping back. Maybe this is her way of telling him this isn’t going to happen a second time. He has no right to push it after being the one to end it initially. He steps back and nods.

"I know it's a gray area, but I need you. I want you" he tells her but she doesn't say anything back immediately. 

She steps closer to him her hands on his chest, “but it might be a good idea to book a room here” she whispers in his ear and he feels like life has re-entered him. 

She smirks and kisses his lips once more. 

“Yes ma’am” he replies wanting to take her against the wall right now. He pulls out his phone to book the room online as they walk back inside, she a few seconds ahead of him. They get to the ballroom door and he catches up to her. “Done” he smiles opening the door. She hears her phone ding and sees it’s a text with a Bluetooth key for the hotel room. She bites her lip and smiles. 

She realizes now what her therapist meant that you don’t always see the benefit of sticking with your new path and not reverting to old ways. Now she just needs to make it through a little bit longer so she can meet him and for the first time ever, enjoy some hot makeup sex.


End file.
